My Victoria is officially 6 years old! We spent all day yesterday celebrating and just enjoying the entire day from sun up till sun down. 6 years old is a magical age because your birthday is truly like MAGIC. Everything about the day sparkles! Everything about your birthday is the BEST. Everything you do on your birthday is SPECIAL. 6 is the age to be at right now for my girl and her day was filled with all the glitter and gold and balloons that she wanted!
I simply can’t believe Victoria is 6 years old. It’s CRAZY to me that she’s now a little girl, there’s zero trace of a toddler. I always take a moment on Victoria’s birthday to thank God for his gift to our family. Victoria truly is for me a gift. She came into our lives at a time that I needed her more than anything and she is a true reminder for me in that praying and wishing into the universe is something we all should do.
My husband has been diagnosed with a cancerous GIST tumor in his abdomen in January of 2012. It scared me. It scared my husband. We had 4 little boys at the time and we were trying – to the best of our ability – to hold it together and not show them the fear that was inside of us. Thankfully my husband was able to go on a chemo pill immediately for treatment, and during that time in our lives, we just felt grateful that it had been discovered and that something was being done for my husband.
At that specific time in our lives we had been going back and forth about having another baby, we had actually decided that 4 was a good number. I always felt a little pull in my heart, but I had just tried to not listen to it because I had these for little boys who were amazing and beautiful and who needed me. When ALL of this happened with Matt, we looked at each other and said, “Let’s have another one!” We wanted to embrace life and celebrate life a new little being was exactly who we wanted to do just that for our family!
We made this decision in March of 2012 and in June of 2012, I found out I was pregnant! I was thrilled!! I was over the moon and so happy that it happened so quickly!! The boys were excited, too. It just was the perfect way to roll into summer that year after a really difficult first 6 months of the year. I also discovered that I was pregnant with my best friend, Vera and that our babies were going to be just weeks apart from each other! We were so excited for everything, but then I found out mid-July that I lost the baby.
To say I was crushed is an understatement. After our 1st sonogram we were told that there wasn’t enough fluid in the sac, but my doctor told me to come back for another sonogram in a week to see how everything was progressing. I had a feeling that something was wrong, but I tried to stay positive. When we went back for that 8-9 week sonogram, there wasn’t a heartbeat. I just felt like it was a blow that we just didn’t need at that time in our lives. I felt so defeated and empty and just sad.
My husband was worried that I wasn’t going to want to try again, but after the summer, in the beginning of September I knew it was time to try again. I needed to try again beyond just wanting to try again. My heart needed this baby to be. On Halloween of that year I found out I was pregnant!! I was beyond excited, but also cautious. I guarded my heart big time on the beginning of this pregnancy. I had already miscarried before with a baby before my son Ben, so I knew that a pregnancy after miscarriage was a tough one emotionally and mentally because you’re so scared it will happen again.
The pregnancy kept progressing healthy and beautifully and we found out on February 12, 2013 that we would be adding a GIRL to our family! A baby GIRL after 4 BOYS!! We were over the moon, all of us! Victoria was about to be and very, very, very meant to be for our family.
Sometimes we forget the story of the beginning of the beginning and to go back and retell it and remember it makes you truly realize how amazing life is. Victoria truly has been an addition to our family that I never knew I needed. She was the puzzle piece that was meant to be. I just thank God for her every single day because she is a blessing that we desperately needed. When people ask us if we kept going for a girl, I often want to tell them this story. I want to share how she came to be, but it’s something that I know they don’t mean seriously… but if they truly only knew!!
And so – on my daughter’s 6th birthday – I made her a video of a recap of the last year! I make these videos every single birthday for all the kids. I’ve never been one who could keep up with a baby book, so I opted to make these when the boys were little. I used to pick the songs, but now they request them to me! 🙂
To my Victoria girl… you are sunshine and glitter and gold to me. You are everything I needed. You are my mini, my little best friend, my forever sidekick. Thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy. Thank you for coming exactly at the perfect time for us. Thank you for being YOU! I love you CRAZY!