I’m always asked to share advice for new moms. I guess when you become a (ahem) seasoned mom, it’s par for the course. When I first because a mom on September 25th, 2004 at 1:51PM, any and all advice was needed and seeked. I felt really lost right out of the gate. I didn’t know what to expect and let me tell you, nobody can prepare you for motherhood. It doesn’t matter how many books you ready or how many women you talk to, until your baby is placed in your arms – you’re not fully prepared or ready. Maybe that’s my first real piece of advice… nothing will fully prepare you until you are actually a mom.
Advice for New Moms
I’m going to be honest with you and you can’t judge because I was a first time mom and seemed to have a ton of time on my hands back then. When I first found out I was pregnant with William (my first) I started a journal. I wrote to him every single night. That’s one piece of advice for new moms. Write things down. Or at the very least, record yourself saying things. You will want these someday. I used to write to William about everything! I told him about my life and about my job and about his father. I told him everything, it was just my way of getting through the pregnancy. I also used to ask my parents and my in laws to write to him, too. They both obliged, but I can say without hesitation that my mother in law must have thought I was crazy! Write to a baby not here yet? What is she making me do? It makes me laugh now because everyone did it and the best part? William has everything in his journal.
As I sit here and think about advice for new moms and what I new mom could really takeaway from this post, 5 things come to mind.
- Remember the ordinary moments. I know it’s very important to remember the first smile and the first word and the first step and the first of everything. But it’s also important to remember the ordinary moments. The rocking at night to a particular song. The reading of a story a million times. The favorite toy that you play with him/her every single day. The sitting on the couch together while he/she breastfeeds or has a bottle. It’s the ordinary moments that you might not think to remember because they happen every single day, but it’s these moments that are special because they are just that… ordinary special moments. When I stop and think about advice for new moms, this is probably the most important to remember and also think about as your kids grow. Ordinary moments for me now with my William? It’s watching him do his homework or driving him to swim team. I love these moments. I will miss these when he’s off to college.
- Another piece of advice for new moms? Find a mom friend … or 100 if that’s what you need. I felt so lost and confused and dazed out of my mind those first few years. I didn’t know what to do with myself sometimes. And finally I met a few mom friends. They changed everything for me. I laughed with them. I cried with them. I felt connected. I didn’t feel as lost anymore. I knew I had someone else feeling the same craziness as I was feeling. I needed those moms at the beginning and then as your kids grow, you still need to maintain mom friendships that make you feel – dare I say it – NORMAL! We all go through this journey and it’s easier to have people along there with you. People other than just your partner or spouse.
- Don’t even try on bathing suits until your child is out of preschool! You want some real advice for new moms? This is it. Do not go near a bathing suit. Not every mom is like the mom on Instagram that can fit into a size double zero 3 days after birth. We’ve all seen those moms. I don’t know how they do it, but they do it. it’s crazy to me. Our bodies shift and change after having a baby, it’s normal and it’s natural. DO NOT BE HARD ON YOURSELF. You were meant to enjoy this early stage of motherhood, not feel bad about yourself over it. Just know that these days of new motherhood go by too fast! Enjoy them, don’t be focused on trying to lose the baby weight in the matters of seconds.
- If you have a question about something, don’t ask the masses. The one thing I see happen a lot now with the birth of social media is that we can ask a motherhood question online and get a zillion answers in seconds. Ask on Instagram or Twitter of Facebook. It’s crazy. If you don’t want to get a zillion different answers and views and opinions, don’t ask online. I saw a new mom do this recently and I felt horrible for her. She asked a question about co-sleeping and the answers were just crazy and all over the place and made her feel bad about asking it. New mom? With a question? Ask your tribe.
- Listen… your going to make a ton of mistakes and that’s OK! You’re going to fail at this motherhood thing a million times and that’s OK! I think I’ve had a million mom fails. You’re going to question yourself a hundred times and that’s OK! Motherhood is a journey and if it’s your first, none of us have done this before. You will work it out and figure it out as you go. Don’t be hard on yourself. Please know that millions and millions of women are mothers. And millions of women have had the same questions and concerns. When you’re looking for advice for new moms and seeking it out… I want you to always remember that you’re not alone. You’re never alone. You will always have someone by your side to help. You will always have a little baby looking to you to try your best, even on the days you’re not feeling it. Embrace the knowledge in knowing this and feeling this always.
May we all have motherhood journeys that teach us, but always remember that motherhood is a gift from God. Make an impact. Do you. And be real, always. One of my fave places to go for motherhood real talk is Todays Parents.