Working Mom Guilt is Real
The working mom guilt is real. It’s alive and well and it’s something that I know thousands and thousands of moms struggle with every single day. My kids are my life. They are my everything. I mean truly – everything that I do is for them, hands down. I work hard for them. I take care of myself for them. I keep the house clean and neat and organized (OK… as much as I can – wink, wink) for them. It’s all for them and I know my husband is the same exact way, too.
But I’ll tell you what – as much as I love my job and what I do – the working mom guilt sometimes creeps in and it just gets you. This past week there were a million activities and events at the schools for Halloween. Parties – activities – you name it, it was all this week – for all 5 kids! I kept getting the emails and the sign-ups and I kept wanting to sig-up for everything, but I just couldn’t. I had to work, it wasn’t an option. I was able (thank goodness) to sneak in 2 volunteer sessions over the last week for Victoria – one for the school store and one for her class party. It was heaven. Just seeing her light up when she saw me was like winning the lottery. It’s not expected from her, so when it happens – it’s amazing for her.
Yesterday I even surprised her with volunteering to her school for the Halloween Party. She asked me once if I would be coming in and I told her I couldn’t because I had to work. Honestly – it’s tough for her because I know she doesn’t fully understand the concept and importance of working, not to mention what I actually do for a living! Explaining that I’m a mom blogger or digital influencer of content creator isn’t exactly something 5 year olds understand. She knows I work on the computer and she knows I work with Vera Sweeney. That’s about it. But her face yesterday? It meant a million chocolate bars to me on Halloween! She was thrilled and introduced me to every friend she could in class, “This is my mom!” Her smile, well – it brought tears to my eyes! And I’m not supposed to be crying during a Halloween Party! 🙂
But my William, Alex, Ben and Henry? They all had school activities, too this week and last week and I just couldn’t make it work. My son Henry came home yesterday telling me all about his party and what they did and how much fun they had. I tried to make it work, but I had a conference call I couldn’t reschedule. And you know what? It made me feel bad that I missed it. I know that time doesn’t stand still and that the years are flying by too fast, but I also know that my job provides for our family… so many times, there’s just no other way.
The working mom guilt really comes into play sometimes during the year and it’s tough to sometimes reconcile. I sometimes look at other moms and wonder what it’s like to be able to be at everything. I’m sometimes envious and wish that I knew what that was like, but then I wouldn’t have this entire other piece of my life (my work) that I love and cherish and that I’m passionate about. It’s a funny seesaw… we just want it all sometimes and we just can’t always have it. It’s just knowing that it’s OK and that it’s like this for so many other moms and dads, too. I don’t know why yesterday it stung so much for me… but it did. I looked at my Henry and I just felt my heart hurt. I knew he wanted me there. It just wasn’t possible.
How do you get past the – Working Mom Guilt is Real
I don’t know if you do or even if you’re supposed to!
To my fellow working moms who feel this guilt from time to time. I know we’re all in this together. I know it’s not always easy. I also know and remember what it was like being at home with the 4 boys when I was first growing my business and just couldn’t make it to anything at the schools because I was home taking care of Ben and Henry! I used to try and make it work to help out at school for William and Alex, but I couldn’t manage leaving the little guys or justify hiring a babysitter. So it’s all the same… it’s not just the working moms, it’s all moms feeling the guilt from time to time. I know it’s normal. I know it’s common. I know it’s a mom being a mom… but it still stinks when you feel it.
I don’t even know the purpose of this post, I just felt like writing. I felt like sharing. I felt like getting it out. I dropped Henry off at school today and I told him that I would make sure to sign-up for something soon at his school. It’s also important for him to know that I want to be there. Even my 3 older guys – I WANT to be there doing what I can do, it’s just not always humanly possible.
This parenting thing isn’t easy, huh? It’s definitely not for the faint of heart. Here’s to all of the moms out there who try to make it work whenever we can! May we all know that we’re not alone when we’re really feeling the mom guilt on certain days.