My 4 little boys, well… they’re not so little anymore. They’re big guys, although – I hate saying that because I still think of them as my little babies. It’s crazy when your kids start getting taller than you, nobody prepares you for that part of parenting. Nobody tells you that it’s really (REALLY) crazy to see the babies you raised start to creep into bigger and bigger people. The kind of people that get funny jokes. The kind of people that know when someone swears (and looks at you shocked!). The kind of people who start wondering about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. The kind of people who start asking YOU what you want for your birthday/Christmas. The kind of people who can make their own bed, make their own breakfast and (almost) just do their own laundry.

It’s weird, but yes… all very, very normal.

But it’s my boys, my little (big) boys who have taught me so much about being a mother.

What have I learned about having boys and not just any kind of boys, tween boys?

I’ve learned lots, but 10 things really stick out to me.

1. I’ve learned that starting early with the – Don’t think you’re not going to get a kiss from me – mantra has been the best way to go. Kisses are a must in my house. You’re never too cool or too big for a kiss and hug. I always tell my kids, the ones at school who would dare say anything… I can assure you are the ones wishing that their parents kissed and hugged them more often. Boys are different than girls. You need to really be open because they can close shut as tight as clams! You need to make sure you’re always TRYING to get more out of them.
2. I’ve learned that being open with my kids about alcohol, drugs, bad influences (meaning kids) is important. I’m not a shy person, so I’ve never shied away from issues or problems or situations if I think they’re important to address. I’ve seen this openness, especially with my 2 oldest be ultra important. It’s allowed for a 2-way dialogue and I am beginning to learn and hear from them things that *maybe* I don’t want to know, but so happy I do know.
3. I’ve learned that swearing in front of them (once in awhile) isn’t the end of the world. Gone are the days where I could “spell out” words to my husband. Yeah, that’s laughable now. It’s actually funny because if I swear in front of them – they call me on it in a nanosecond. Like I’m being schooled.
4. I’ve learned that I learn more from all of them during car rides and dinnertime than ANYWHERE ELSE. I’ve made it a rule – we ALWAYS dinner together, around a table. We don’t do drive by dinners in the car or sit in random places throughout the house. Table. Food. Talking.
5. I’ve learned that talking about girls (yes… the taboo subject) is a little uncomfortable for them (at first), but the more you open that door, the more you will get. Obviously I’m a girl and I love the girl gossip/talk, my sons are not like that. I have to “play it cool.” The more I play it cool about it, like it’s no big deal… the more info I get! Which I love.
6. I’ve learned that giving them phones (they have TracFones) has been the best thing ever. My 2 oldest have them and it’s been a great way to stay in touch. I was hesitant at first, but it’s been an awesome responsibility tool for them, too.
7. I’ve learned that grooming tween boys needs to start when they are – indeed – TWEENS! I’ve introduced them to hair products, skincare products and kid cologne. Start early my friends.
8. I’ve learned that tween boys don’t seem to care if they have rips or holes in their socks/pants/shirts/sweats/shoes. Inspection is needed often.
9. I’ve learned that tween boys need an outlet of friends. It’s wonderful to make sure they have a core group they can play with, talk with and just be with when needed. I’ve been VERY lucky that my sons have core groups of friends beyond each other. This is really special and important for them as they grow.
10. I’ve learned that letting your tween boys see you laugh and be happy while you’re with them, is the most important of all. To show them your love for them and how you’re also a person who loves to be silly and play is vital, too. Boys are boys… but they will always be your babies. They will always be those toddlers that ran to you with scrapes and boo-boos. Time goes by, but that bond and that love… it needs to always be there.

XO

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