If you asked the people in my life to describe me, I would hope that some of the words used would be: nice, kind, funny, loving, passionate, smart, fair, etc. Being those types of things are important to me, they’ve always been. I’m also fairly certain that most people in my life would use the word busy.
“Yeah… Audrey, she’s always busy.”
Up till last week, whenever someone called me “busy,” I HATED it. To me, it was an insult. I would get defensive, put up a wall… and maybe not say it to their face, but as SOON AS I GOT HOME, would say to my husband, “Really? They’re going to call me too busy?” And then he’d hear my mouthful or response that I wish I had just told them. Every time I vented to my husband (God bless him), he would always say to me, “Why is busy a bad thing? You are busy. Wouldn’t you rather be busy?”
Yeah, I guess so.
Ugh… I don’t know. I guess it’s the way people use the word busy.
As defined in the Dictionary, busy means:
busy:
adj.adjective
1. Engaged in activity, as work; occupied.
2. Characterized by or sustaining much activity.
So, yes. I am busy.
But so are thousands, no millions of other people. I’m not alone on this “busy” journey.
Last week was kind of an epiphany week for me. It was vacation week for the kids. My plate was very full last week with kid stuff, work stuff, life stuff and just everything-kind-of-stuff. I started to get really overwhelmed and really to the point of I’m-going-to-scream-and-kick-my-feet until this stops kind of busy.
Here’s the thing, I’m not a complainer about life. I’ve NEVER been one of those people. I actually can’t stand it when people complain because I’ve always been the type of person who had the mindset that there’s always someone worse off, so WHY COMPLAIN?
Work? It will get done.
House cleaning? It will eventually all get done (right?).
Date night? We will set one up!
School meetings? one of us will be there.
Homework and activities for the kids? We’ll get through it.
Family dinners and weekend time? Yup. Most important.
But last week, some “innocent” woman who I don’t know that well said to me, “Wow… you always just seem so busy? Doesn’t that bother your kids? Or your husband?”
And I kind of just snapped. In that moment, I kind of just snapped.
I just looked at her said said, “No. It doesn’t.”
When I was driving home, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. Busy? I’m too busy? This is how THIS woman sees me.
And then it dawned on me, WHY DO I CARE WHAT THIS WOMAN THINKS?
Busy to me is a good thing. When I’m not busy, I’m nervous. I like to be moving. I like things to do. I’m never too busy for my family. I’m never too busy for my sons and daughter. I’m never too busy for my husband. The train stops there. There are lines in my life that I have drawn and when things get to be too much and are taking time away from what I want, need and crave… that’s when I pull back. As I’ve gotten older and more (ahem) wiser, I’ve begun to really put this into action. But here’s the thing.. my job. What I do, it’s who I am. My blog, my social media… it’s an extension of me. It started because I had something to share and I decided to share (almost) everything in my life. Being busy through work, means that I’m working. I’m the sole provider of my family right now, so work for me is survival. I’m just lucky to absolutely love what I do, so it doesn’t bother me. Are there days where I have a ton on my plate and I want to cry? You bet! We all have those days. Nobody’s life is perfect and drama-free. Trying to balance work and life and kids and home and marriage and family and my own personal needs… yeah, it keeps me busy.
It keeps me real busy.
And guess what?
I’m OK with that. I’m good with that.
I had a friend share a very good statement with me when I posted a little something about this last week online, she said… “Just as long as you are busy with the right things…“
And that is exactly right and what I try to keep on point all the time.
My friend Robyn sent me this great quote she found about being busy… I loved it:
So for all you ladies who are busy… I “hear” it’s an exclusive club.
One that I actually love being part of.
Love love love!!!!xoxoxoxo
I love this, Audrey. I’ve never understood why people look down their noses and make comments about how *busy* someone is. Is it jealousy? Perhaps. Lack of understanding? Probably. But to be busy doing all the things that are most important to you… wow! That’s the American dream! Congrats!! So many more of us are cheering you on!
Thank you Maureen!!! I was really taken aback by the comment and it made me feel so bad in that moment.
xoxo
Thank you Audrey! There is a lot of judging going on in the world, be it out of jealousy, misunderstanding or ignorance. I too am very busy but only with things that I love: my job, my children, my family and friends. I don’t want to not be busy with these things. What I do say no to are the things that I don’t love. Stay busy my friend. It works for you!
Read my mind. Some one told my husband that I am too busy. Made me second guess myself all week. What a waste of my thoughts and energy.
Thanks Ashley!!! Too much judging. It kills me. Thanks for the comment my friend!! xoxo
Love it, Liz! You’re right – waste of thoughts and energy when people try and get in your head. xoxo
I’m right there with you. I often feel pulled in so many directions by trying to build my brand, work for others, be there for my three children, all while running on limited sleep. People have said to me, you need a week off because you’re too busy. Truth is, there’s no such thing and I’m fine with it. I like being needed. And being busy keeps me grounded. People who have nothing nice to say are probably unhappy with their own situation in some way. Audrey, you are an inspiration and a rockstar mom and wife! Keep doing what you do, because lady it’s working! xoxoxo
I love this post Audrey!!! I never understood people who say they are bored, only boring people get bored. My dad once said to me they will come and visit us from Europe when our “life calms down” and I answered “that would be horrible if our life calmed down, I will always think of something!” And that’s how it has been, and ever will be. I get it. It’s not that your priorities are wrong Audrey, they are right on. Being busy not just provides for your family, but being busy makes you happy, and that’s what life really is about. You are not staying busy to run away from life, you are staying busy living it to the fullest. Always loved your energy, you, and your busyness 🙂 KEEP GOING, we are all cheering for you! <3
I love this because I actually hate to be busy, but I need to look at it differently too. Because you’re right, being busy isn’t bad. And as long as you like it.
I do admire you with all that you do, the drive you have, the time you spend with family. And you are good at what you do!!!! I’m know it’s hard to juggle but from what I see, you do a good job with it! And you have a wonderful family to support you and that makes it all worth it! xoxo
This is a great post Audrey. I think when people starting knocking people who are “busy” they’re personally feeling too busy and overwhelmed. We all have our own threshold and sometimes, yes, we get too busy and need to slow down. That’s a personal decision and one that nobody can make but the person whose wearing the running shoes. I know a lot of people who thrive on being busy and when they’re not busy, they’re not happy. I say, do what makes you happy and the other people talking, they’re just noise. Tune them out. Rock on girlfriend!
Your friend is right. It’s all about being busy with the right things. And only you and your family know what those things are.
If you love doing it and are happy…then there is no such thing as too busy. If you’re exhausted or missing out on fun and family – then it’s time to slow down. You and your family are the only ones who can decide that.
Keep on keeping on.
Busy moms get sh*t done! You keep being your fantastic self, sweetheart, and don’t let anyone dull your shine. You’re an inspiration to many, including myself. My mom raised me to be busy, it’s our “Italian way,” never keeping still, never an idle hand. And there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with it! xo
Thank you for turning this sometimes negative thing of being busy, into a positive. People always tell me I’m too busy, but then I think – I’m busy doing what makes me happy (spending time with my family, traveling, keeping up relationships with my girlfriends) – living life to the fullest!
I love this and you! Oh my gosh yes!
Everyone has their own pace. As long as we’re happy, and our kids and families are happy, then who cares how busy the next person is!? I don’t get that. I am busy. When I wasn’t busy, I got into trouble. I am much better off being busy, lol!!!!! And happier too.
I’m with you. SO with you. I often feel guilty for working on my goals and business. I think we all have our own version of ‘the good life’ and sometimes that includes ‘the busy’ and the goal setting. It doesn’t necessarily mean sitting on a beach with nothing to do. I do not fare well with nothing to do.
Busy with the right things. It has a beautiful ring to it, yes? That’s because this kind of ‘busy’ is good – so good….as it makes you happy, fulfilled, a better mother, friend, sister, daughter, business owner and YOU. I’m proud of you and love you. You just keep on building. xoxo
I’ve always seen you as a true example of putting your family first and building a brand and a business around how to be a fabulous mother and woman.
You are to be envied because you have created an extraordinary life that cannot be compared to anyone else’s. Even amongst us bloggers, you have had outstanding success and a created a most beautiful and enviable life. The problem with having such an enviable life is that other woman will envy you and then they will tell themselves and you that you must be too busy… that you must be letting someone down. Some women need to put down others in order to feel okay about themselves.
Your life is so full and blessed, you can’t help but be busy with all you have been given and earned. Enjoy it all… it’s a good type of busy.
A busy life is a full life. I really enjoyed reading your reflections!
Thank you so much Susan. Sending you love for this sweet comment that made me cry.