If you asked the people in my life to describe me, I would hope that some of the words used would be: nice, kind, funny, loving, passionate, smart, fair, etc. Being those types of things are important to me, they’ve always been. I’m also fairly certain that most people in my life would use the word busy.
“Yeah… Audrey, she’s always busy.”
Up till last week, whenever someone called me “busy,” I HATED it. To me, it was an insult. I would get defensive, put up a wall… and maybe not say it to their face, but as SOON AS I GOT HOME, would say to my husband, “Really? They’re going to call me too busy?” And then he’d hear my mouthful or response that I wish I had just told them. Every time I vented to my husband (God bless him), he would always say to me, “Why is busy a bad thing? You are busy. Wouldn’t you rather be busy?”
Yeah, I guess so.
Ugh… I don’t know. I guess it’s the way people use the word busy.
As defined in the Dictionary, busy means:
1. Engaged in activity, as work; occupied.
2. Characterized by or sustaining much activity.
So, yes. I am busy.
But so are thousands, no millions of other people. I’m not alone on this “busy” journey.
Last week was kind of an epiphany week for me. It was vacation week for the kids. My plate was very full last week with kid stuff, work stuff, life stuff and just everything-kind-of-stuff. I started to get really overwhelmed and really to the point of I’m-going-to-scream-and-kick-my-feet until this stops kind of busy.
Here’s the thing, I’m not a complainer about life. I’ve NEVER been one of those people. I actually can’t stand it when people complain because I’ve always been the type of person who had the mindset that there’s always someone worse off, so WHY COMPLAIN?
Work? It will get done.
House cleaning? It will eventually all get done (right?).
Date night? We will set one up!
School meetings? one of us will be there.
Homework and activities for the kids? We’ll get through it.
Family dinners and weekend time? Yup. Most important.
But last week, some “innocent” woman who I don’t know that well said to me, “Wow… you always just seem so busy? Doesn’t that bother your kids? Or your husband?”
And I kind of just snapped. In that moment, I kind of just snapped.
I just looked at her said said, “No. It doesn’t.”
When I was driving home, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. Busy? I’m too busy? This is how THIS woman sees me.
And then it dawned on me, WHY DO I CARE WHAT THIS WOMAN THINKS?
Busy to me is a good thing. When I’m not busy, I’m nervous. I like to be moving. I like things to do. I’m never too busy for my family. I’m never too busy for my sons and daughter. I’m never too busy for my husband. The train stops there. There are lines in my life that I have drawn and when things get to be too much and are taking time away from what I want, need and crave… that’s when I pull back. As I’ve gotten older and more (ahem) wiser, I’ve begun to really put this into action. But here’s the thing.. my job. What I do, it’s who I am. My blog, my social media… it’s an extension of me. It started because I had something to share and I decided to share (almost) everything in my life. Being busy through work, means that I’m working. I’m the sole provider of my family right now, so work for me is survival. I’m just lucky to absolutely love what I do, so it doesn’t bother me. Are there days where I have a ton on my plate and I want to cry? You bet! We all have those days. Nobody’s life is perfect and drama-free. Trying to balance work and life and kids and home and marriage and family and my own personal needs… yeah, it keeps me busy.
It keeps me real busy.
And guess what?
I’m OK with that. I’m good with that.
I had a friend share a very good statement with me when I posted a little something about this last week online, she said… “Just as long as you are busy with the right things…“
And that is exactly right and what I try to keep on point all the time.
My friend Robyn sent me this great quote she found about being busy… I loved it:
So for all you ladies who are busy… I “hear” it’s an exclusive club.
One that I actually love being part of.