Let’s just say a guy named Tom Brady is a minimum-wage short-order cook at a local diner, being interviewed by fictional BreakfastJournal about questionable production during last Sunday’s breakfast rush at Patriots Diner…

BreakfastJournal: There’s no question that you and your staff didn’t look exactly elite during Sunday’s breakfast rush.

Tom: We could all probably play better.

BreakfastJournal: The facts are indisputable: fumbled orders, dropped plates, cold eggs, limp bacon, burnt toast, spilled milk.

Tom: We probably could’ve played worse, too.

BreakfastJournal:  Do you think you have the talent around you to succeed?

Tom: We’ll see. We’ll see in a couple of months where we’re at.

BreakfastJournal: A couple of months? What’s the plan for breakfast next Sunday?

Tom: We’re trying to find the things that we do well, and we’re trying to find the things that we don’t do well.

BreakfastJournal: You and your cooks earn $8.00/hour. How do you look so stagnant with all that payroll behind you?

Tom: We’ve got competitive guys with a lot of mental toughness. I’m curious to see how we respond.

BreakfastJournal: Curious? Aren’t you guys trained for short-order?

Tom: We’ve got to try to find ways to do a better job.

BreakfastJournal: Can you address the lack of continuity on the line.

Tom: I hope it’s correctable.

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BreakfastJournal is reporting today that Tom Brady, his short-order team and manager Bill Eggacheck have been terminated from employment at Patriots Diner. There are breakfasts to be served, payroll is “through the roof” at minimum wage and the promise of “I hope it’s correctable” just doesn’t slice the bread.  Manager Eggacheck has declined comment.