The other night, as my sister-in-law Nicole and I doted over baby Brian (who my family has affectionately nicknamed “B2,” as in Brian II), she asked me if I thought I wanted to have more children.
I immediately thought back to about six weeks ago, when Nicole visited me and B2 just after we had come home from the hospital. I was pretty much a mess – as a brand new mom I wasn’t sleeping or eating much, I couldn’t seem to find the time to take a shower, simple tasks like doing laundry or making dinner seemed monumental, and going to the bathroom to pee was a painful ten minute (at best) ordeal. Also, I was pretty sure I was doing everything wrong as a mom.
It was a weird place to be – I was so in love with my little man, so happy to be a mother, and yet so completely overwhelmed by it all. On top of that, my long, exhausting labor was still fresh on my mind.
And did I mention I couldn’t pee without wanting to yell every curse word I knew?
So, being that I was in such an anxious state at that time – exhausted, elated, intimidated, joyous, weepy, sore (and more!) – I had confessed to Nicole and my mom that while I loved little Brian more than life itself, and wouldn’t trade or change one. single. thing. about my life with him, I just couldn’t imagine doing it all again.
Mom said to give it time, to take motherhood day by day, minute by minute. Eventually I would find my rhythm and I just might change my tune.
But nope, I was sure that it would be one and done for me, thank you very much.
And then.
Time went by. My body began to heal from the aftereffects of childbirth. I gained more confidence as a mom.
Suddenly I began to say things like, “When we start trying for another…”
So here I am, only seven weeks into motherhood, and I know without a doubt what my answer to Nicole’s question is.
I feel so blessed to find myself in this role of motherhood. It feels so natural, so right. I love little B2 so much that it sometimes feels as though my heart is going to burst.
Yes, I want more children.
And yes, Mom was right. (She usually is).
Awww, I love you, my Janie-girl! I just know that YOU would not be our perfect baby-girl if Dad and I hadn’t thought… hey, what’s one more – quadruple the LOVE as before! xoxox!
Oh, Jane! Those first few weeks are so, so hard. Then, the clouds part and the sun shines through again and it makes all the difference. I tell all of my friends who have their first babies just to wait until 6-8 weeks pass and life will feel normal again. YOU are doing a fabulous job and I am so glad you want to have more babies. It would be a shame not to because look at the little guy…he’s SO CUTE!!
I think it’s a feeling you get when you just know whether your family is complete or not. 5 months after our little guy and Raf and I just both feel our little family is complete with just 1. Though own my mom says to give it a full year. LOL
Awe. You have a very smart mama. So happy for you Jane.
I love this post. The day we got home, Dave announced he wanted more kids. I just wanted to use the bathroom without crying. I loved being mom to one, but can’t wait for M II in September!
Motherhood is different for everyone. I like that your mom didn’t push you into having more, or push you into only having one. You needed to come to the conclusion yourself….I am so happy you have a family that supports whichever decision you choose, I however am not that fortunate. I have always ever wanted one….since I was 12….. I have one- and have my tubes tied ( I do have a genetic disorder) and Landon is a Miracle baby…but regardless of my condition others should respect a woman’s choice….and I am happy for you!
I remember feeling the same way too. Thinking how will I ever handle two? But, now as I’m pregnant with my third, I’m hoping this transition will be easier. I would have a bunch more if my body and finances would allow. My two kids truly give me more joy than anything ever has. It’s pretty amazing. And I bet you’re doing awesome, Jane!
Can I promote this on my twitter feed?