There’s this supermarket cashier…

There’s this supermarket cashier…

The reason I’m writing about this supermarket cashier today, or even thinking about this supermarket cashier today, is because of a very funny post I read yesterday by a very funny lady I know — about the-joys-and-peace-of-grocery-shopping-without-your-kids.

I don’t shop with kids anymore. I’ve never been a real fan of grocery shopping, anyway. It’s something to get through.

In fact, I compete with myself for Personal Bests in getting in-and-out of the supermarket.

I’m serious.

And who helps better in swift exits than a good supermarket cashier?

No-one.

Ah, supermarket cashiers.

A friendly lot.

Yes?

What you say?

No?

Well, I’ve found one at my local supermarket because of whom I nearly got arrested… not really; but who DID accuse me of counterfeiting a coupon a couple of years ago.

Yes. Seriously.

But this same cashier has come, over the years, to be my BFF.

Oh, she doesn’t know this.

She doesn’t know who I am.

She doesn’t know that I hunt her down at checkout.

She doesn’t know that I go ONLY to her terminal when she’s on patrol; and she seems to be on patrol 24/7, if you ask me.

She has no idea on this great earth or inside the vast interior of this supermarket chain store that she is my best friend.

Why, you ask, would I feel such affinity for a woman who accused me of conspiring a scheme for COUNTERFEITING a Reddi-wip coupon for a grand savings of under $5.00?

Because of her great, stoic, mostly silent efficiency in moving a line along and getting me out of the supermarket in record time.

‘Cuz nobody, no-how, no-way messes with this cashier. She ain’t takin’ no shit from nobody. She only takes prisoners.

This cashier scans groceries with the ease and beauty of a machine… beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.

She smells a bad coupon a mile away. DENIED. I know.

She packs grocery bags like Santa Claus… speaking not a word, going straight to her work.

She rips the receipt from the register with the authority of a mythological goddess of groceries.

No eye contact.

None.

Nothing to take her from her work.

I love her.

She’s my SBFF — Supermarket Best Friend Forever.

Because she gets me the beep out in record time and assures my satisfaction (as long my coupons are legal).

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There’s this supermarket cashier… was last modified: July 11th, 2017 by Sharon Couto
SHOWHIDE Comments (9)
  1. Oh my gosh, that is too funny! I know who will get me out the fastest where I shop too and look for them all the time.

    I have to say that is is the chore I hate the most. If you think about it, groceries are the most handled thing you do. You pick a item up, put it in the cart. Put the item on the belt, put them back in the cart to take to the car. Put everything in the car, get home take them out of the car. Put them on your counter and then in their designated spot in the pantry or fridge until it is time to use it. I would pick just about anything in place of grocery shopping, but alas, it has to get done!

  2. I am the same way. Grocery shopping ranks up there with cleaning the bathroom as one of my least favorite chores. So every other week I supplement it by doing a Peapod Pick-Up at the store. In 5 minutes, someone loads my groceries in the car and then I am done 🙂

  3. I usually shop with 5 kids in tow. When they were itty bitty I hated this job, but now that they are old enough to push the cart, read labels, and reach items on the shelf I almost enjoy it. We operate like a finely tuned machine, with me as the drill sergeant barking out commands. I admit that I also have my favorite cashier clerks and prefer the non-chatty ones.

    In recent months TWO different clerks at my favorite grocery store asked “are they all yours or are they your grandkids.” I’m 38. I no longer go to their line, which is a shame because they were very efficient.

  4. Sharon, you are cracking me up. Thank you for thinking of me. I can totally picture you running into the supermarket and b-lining it to your secret SBFF. And the counterfeit coupon?! For Reddi Whip no less? I’m cackling out loud. You are the best. And the day this cashier announces her resignation, I think you’ll have to bring her some balloons or something!

  5. HA!! I agree to finding the fastest, quietest cashier!! But…..I do like grocery shopping, when I’m by myself!! Shopping with the girls isn’t horrible, just not as relaxing. When I go by myself…I grab a coffee, hold my list & mosey through my shopping! Plus if I’m by myself it means my husband is home to help carry in the groceries!!

  6. For the record…I like to grocery shop and I think that Sharon enjoys it a little when we shop together.
    I think?

    I like to go up and down every aisle even if I only had run in for a couple of things. By going up and down each aisle, I usually fill up my cart with a bunch of MUST HAVE items that sit in our cabinets at home until they exceed their expiration dates!!! Right Honey?

  7. Honey… you are the one who goes shopping for 3 items and comes home with 30 bags. Yes? And yes, you do go up and down each aisle, as does my Mom, collecting things like a giant magnet. I shop the store’s perimeter, where the good stuff is, and head to the aisles only when absolutely necessary. BUT I love you!

  8. LOVE this! I too hate grocery shopping. The chore has become so much more tolerable with scan and pack your groceries. I can pack them how I want them packed: least # of trips and by where then end up in the house. When I a faced with going through the line: Yes 6 2 liters go in the ONE bag, YES it is heavy (for you), YES I will put it in the cart. TYVM

There’s this supermarket cashier… was last modified: July 11th, 2017 by Sharon Couto