The Facebook Fairy Tale

facebook fairy tale


I’m on it every single day.

I will admit, the first site I go to every morning when I wake up is — Facebook.

I scour feeds and updates and wish Happy Birthday to my “friends.”

My friend Kath posted a really great Facebook status update today about how Facebook has become one of those social media channels that people either love or hate, strictly because of status updates.

Here’s the deal with Facebook – status updates are beginning to irritate the hell out of people.

I couldn’t believe how many of my Facebook friends declared on New Year’s Day that they were “taking a break from Facebook” (for now). Some people were honest about it and said that it was just getting too irritating for them, others just bowed out without stating too much, and others just simply wanted to take a break from social media and tune into the “real life” more.

I get it. Believe me.

For me, social media is my job. It’s what I do. Being connected on Facebook, for me, is necessary; but I do understand the “down” side of Facebook.

Facebook gives you single snapshots of someone’s life – either through a photo, a video or words.

Life looks like a fairy tale. Photos of the kids cooking in the morning (usually there’s a HUGE mess in my kitchen when the kids are involved). Photos of a living room without a single toy present (I always get nervous when I see people with too much of a clean house!). Gorgeous morning photos of clothing laid out on a bed. Photos of snowmen in perfect harmony.

Believe me, I do the same thing – I try to post photos that are visually appealing and nice. Reality and yes, you can see this in 80% of my photos – my house is a mess about 99.99% of the time. My husband always laughs at me and will say, “I can’t believe you posted that photo. Did you see the stuff all over the counters?”

We’ve had a skeleton hanging in our kitchen (we named him Larry) since LAST Halloween. Yes, 2012 Halloween. People ALWAYS email me asking, “Is that a skeleton?” Like, how can that be?? It’s July.

But the truth is, photos/videos/updates from people – they make their life look like a Pottery Barn catalog, a Martha Stewart kitchen, a home without kids, a flawless face, etc.

People cooking gorgeous meals.
People crafting amazing things with their kids.
People shopping.
People traveling.
People organizing.

People doing so many things that it can get like a Facebook overload of awesomeness from too many Martha Stewarts.

Or… you’ll have the polar opposite, the people who think the world is 100,000% against them and find the need to rant and vent every single day. Come on, you know what I mean… we all have at least 1 of those people in our feed. And believe me, I’ll have my vent session on Facebook every now and then, but these people… they do it every single day, and it’s so frustrating and all you can do is unfriend and/or block them.

But it’s the Facebook Fairy Tale that, I think, bothers people the most.

That everything looks perfect.

That everything must be amazing.

That life is just LIKE a fairy tale where you feed deer by hand and sing with the birds.

It’s just a perception.

Life is perfect, but there are flaws and bumps and corners and adventures for EVERYONE.

Here’s my deal with Facebook —

I would NEVER post about a fight with my husband.
I would NEVER post about getting PMS.
I would NEVER post about an embarrassing moment my child had.
I would NEVER post about an argument I had with a friend.
I would NEVER share not-so-great details about a blogger, a family member, a friend or my work.
I would NEVER post a photo of someone that they didn’t want me to post.
I would NEVER post personal details about something, unless I needed to.

And I’m going to be totally vain here… I would NEVER post a horrible photo of myself. Literally. NEVER. LOL…

I don’t go there, and that’s my personal decision.

But on Facebook… much like a reality show or when you spend a short amount of time with family and friends… you’re getting a tiny slice of someone’s life that they are choosing to share. Tiny. A blip. They’re the director. They’re the star. They share what they want to share.

I don’t post 100 times a day on Facebook about my life and my children because that’s my personal decision… I don’t really think anyone cares that I’m at Starbucks and then the gym and then T.J.Maxx and then Stop & Shop and then the library and then school pick-up. People definitely do this and it’s their “thing.” Facebook also gives people attention, and many people crave that attention. I share photos from my life… sure. I share videos I’ve shot… sure. I share details about my life… sure. But you’re going to find all of this on my blog, my Twitter feed, my YouTube channel, my G+ account and my Instagram feed. I’ve chosen to open myself up online, but it’s funny… of my channels where I’m conservative, it’s Facebook. I definitely am conscious about how much I’m sharing b/c of the Facebook Fairy Tale effect.

I know my life isn’t a fairy tale.

I know I work like a dog; I don’t need to share that detail every single day.
I know I love being with my kids and spending quality time with them; I don’t need to share all the things we do.

It’s funny… as a digital influencer, I’ve really, really become VERY conscious and almost strategic about what I post on Facebook and how much I post.

But I do *think* what drives people the craziest on Facebook is the fairy tale of Facebook.

Everyone can be the best versions of themselves, and you know what? – that’s OK. It makes people feel good. But… oh, my… it’s causing a lot of people to deactivate from Facebook in 2014!


Oh, Facebook.

Sometimes you cause more trouble than good!

The Facebook Fairy Tale was last modified: January 15th, 2014 by Audrey McClelland
SHOWHIDE Comments (4)
  1. Amen to everything you said. I am one who decided to take a break from Facebook for the new year. The “break” ended up being short, but I did take the app off my phone and iPad, so I have to be really thinking about it to go on my computer and login. For me, it was the people who were making me feel bad about myself that started it. I decided to just unfollow them and focus on the good in MY life. Thank you for pointing out the fairy tale of Facebook lives. So true!

  2. Amen girlfriend! If it works for you, that’s great. I found that facebook made me annoyed with people when I had no reason to be… my life has been so much happier without the facebook BS. It works for me to be without it 🙂 I believe everyone needs to look out for their own interest. Great post!

  3. I always say the same thing. People on Facebook generally all fall into two categories… The ones with picture perfect lives and the ones that are angry at the world… Or the president.

    Facebook, instagram, all social media is a carefully selected glimpse of someone’s life. I also think sometimes people take the whole “like” thing too seriously and end up hating Facebook.

The Facebook Fairy Tale was last modified: January 15th, 2014 by Audrey McClelland