The Other Talk: A Guide to Talking With Your Adult Children About the Rest of Your Life –

We all know about the talk – that “birds and bees” conversation that often frightens, embarrasses, immobilizes and reduces the parent to near speechlessness as the child looks on in horror. We’ve read books about this talk and consulted with friends, perhaps… but nothing really prepares us for the questions.

“What?” and “YOU do that?” are key questions that must be addressed. On the spot. With a straight face.

As the years progress, parents and children often reflect back on memories of the talk with a pretty good dose of humor.  Or it has been banned from all memories all-together. It’s all good.

But as those years progress, there’s another kind of talk that becomes necessary; and it’s a talk that’s also sometimes uncomfortable to approach – the talk about the end of life.

There’s help with this talk.

The AARP Bookstore is recommending The Other Talk: A Guide to Talking With Your Adult Children About the Rest of Your Life, by Tim Prosch –  “The first of its kind — a down-to-earth guide to dealing with the tough issues and decisions that will confront parents and their adult children.”

As a Caregiver myself to my 88-year old Mom, I need this book; but even more so, I need this book to share with my own 4 adult children, to begin conversations, The Other Talk, about how my husband Barry and I wish to maintain control of our lives as we age.

Let’s face it. We age. And there are all kinds of things to consider in this process of aging that can be made simpler and easier with an organized plan and frank conversations. The Other Talk makes this rite of passage a whole lot less immobilizing than that other rite of passage talk. This is what The Other Talk is all about:

Book Description

It was a rite of passage for you to have the Talk with your kids about the beginning of life (as in the birds and the bees). As you get older, though, you need to have the Other Talk — that is, about the end of life. And you need to have it now, not after a crisis hits.

With this book, you can take control of your life so that when the time comes, your kids can make decisions based on what you want. The Other Talk gives you the inspiration, practical advice and communication tools you need to have open, honest discussions on tough subjects. Unlike other books that help adult children who are thrust into a decision-making role, this unique approach gives you, the parent, the tools you need to develop a strong partnership with your kids to plan for your later years.

•  Who do you want to help manage your finances, and how will you budget for unknown needs?

•  If you need some form of assisted living, where do you want to live?

•  Where can your children find the documents and information they’ll need to help?

•  What type of medical treatments do you want — and not want — and who will advocate for your needs?

The Other Talk helps you address and answer those and other questions in a calm, measured way — freeing you up to enjoy your life and your family.

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We sometimes wait too long to bring up conversations that may be difficult, whether they be birds and bees or end of life. The waiting, the silence, the not knowing, the fear of talking – all create more questions and unnecessary angst. The parent/child relationship is a great partnership on this journey of life, a partnership of love, respect and helpfulness through sharing –  especially in honest, open conversation about very important topics.

I’m looking forward to sitting down with our 4 adult children (ages 32 – 41) to have The Other Talk, using the book as a great guide. I think there’s gonna be a whole lot less speechlessness than the earlier 4 talks! Get ready, kids…

I highly recommend The Other Talk to all adult children. It’s never too early (or too late) to begin these important conversations.

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As a Caregiver, I turn to AARP.org/Caregiving for questions I have in the care of my Mom -from daily care, housing options and legal advice to medical features, a Caregiving community and the important topic of caring for the caregiver.  Those of us who Caregive are not alone, even though it may sometimes seem so; and sometimes the best days turn in a heartbeat to the most challenging days.  AARP has provided us with a strong, vibrant community of experts for all of our Caregiving days, as well as those of us trying our best at common sense – with lots of welcomed help and advice.

I also turn to AARP.org for myself, for its front-line advocacy, information and service.

Sharon Couto is a member of AARP’s Blogger Kitchen Cabinet on #caregiving, #caresupport, #carekc issues. All opinions are her own.