The Birds and the Bees Conversation – What AGE is Appropriate?

The Birds and the Bees Conversation – What AGE is Appropriate?

Mama mia…

Last week I laughed when I saw my husband post this Facebook message:

This was from our son Alex, and was asked to my husband while they were on their way to swim practice. My husband told me he answered him by saying, “Well… it’s something that a mom and a dad does together when they are in love.”

He thought that would be enough for Alex… thought being the operative word. 🙂

I was out walking with Alex last night when this little dialogue happened…

“So how did Daddy get you pregnant?”
“Well… when 2 people love each other VERY much, they wish for a baby.”
“So wait. You’ve only wished 5 times?”
“Um…. why don’t you ask Dad again.”

Yeah. I totally avoided the “right” answer because I’m not sure what I should tell him!

I know it’s different for EVERYONE, but I just kind of think 7 years old is a little too young to get into all the “real” heavy stuff.

My question… what age is appropriate?

I don’t want the kid thinking wishing brings babies. 😉

About Audrey

Audrey McClelland has been a digital influencer since 2005. She’s a mom of 5 and shares tips on her three favorite things: parenting, fashion and beauty. She’s also a Contemporary Romance Author.

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14 Comments

  1. 6.25.13

    Been feeling like I need to have the “talk”
    with Nate (9) soon but also hesitating. Have noticed a trend of some of my friends with kids the same age starting to have the talk… 9-10 year olds ish. Still not ready but will have to do it soon.

  2. 6.25.13
    Angela said:

    My 3.5 yr old asked the other day if we bought him at the “Kid” store. I’m so not ready for this conversation!

  3. 6.25.13
    Amanda @ funkepunkemonke said:

    My 7 year old has been asking for a while now. We just tell her that mommies and daddies have a special type of hugging that happens in bed. She’s big into science, so we also showed her a video online of an egg getting fertilized thru birth. She’s familiar with mating animals, so it wasn’t a shock to her.

  4. 6.25.13
    Bonnie said:

    I always thought I’d wait until that 9 to 10 range until a dear friend introduced me to “Simple Truths” by Mary Flo Ridley. http://www.maryflo.org/
    She explains that if you wait much past the age of 6, you will not be the first to give your family’s values to him or her. She says age appropriate, but truth should start from a young age. I highly recommend her cd to all of my friends.

  5. 6.25.13
    Angela said:

    Our 7 year old hasn’t been asking any questions yet, but I know they are coming!
    Not sure how/when/if I will ever be ready to have that talk.
    (quite frankly, I don’t remember my mom ever having that talk with us)

  6. 6.25.13
    Sharon - MomGenerations.com said:

    Well… being your mother and all, I don’t remember the exact conversation or your age, but I did have the book “Where Did I Come From” that did the trick, so to speak! I still have this book somewhere, so I’ll find it, check out the content AND GIVE IT TO MATTHEW! Ha. xoxox!

  7. 6.25.13

    I love this post. And I agree. It is a little too young. I think you handled it perfectly given your son’s sweet age. I guess I only “wished” twice! 😉 I can’t even imagine how I’m going to share the news with my 9 year old daughter. My 12-year-old son found out about “puberty” from friends last year. (And 6th grade health class (gotta love public school).) But my husband plans to have more of the “TALK” any time he has more specific questions.

  8. 6.25.13

    eeeeek! I am so not ready for this. Right now the topic of questions from my almost 5 year old involve death… so I guess the next set of questions will be about life. Oy. I’m off to Google that book Sharon mentioned hahaha!

  9. 6.25.13
    Bonnie said:

    I’ve always answered my kids’ questions with accurate/age appropriate information. Having said that, “the talk” doesn’t isn’t easy, no matter who you are. I called the parts by their real names from the time they were born and I think my husband and I gave “the talk” in lots of small increments over the years. The kids were understandably grossed out by my answers about how everything works when they were young, (they are now 14 and 17) but they always knew it was okay to ask. I STILL don’t really think I’m finished with the talk…

  10. 6.25.13
    Poppy said:

    I’m so glad your mom has the book to help answer this! Would Alex be ok with the answer “your dad is going to help explain this to you, but we need to wait a bit because it’s not time yet”? I don’t even remember being told about this stuff and my furry kids won’t be having any babies ever (all are spayed) so I have never even had to contemplate The Talk.

  11. 6.26.13

    So funny… My 7 – just turned 8 – year old Julia has asked various questions about where babies come from and to be honest, I can’t remember exactly what I’ve said.

    But I don’t think I’ve told the her the whole story… I have the worst memory… I really can’t remember what I’ve said.

    She hasn’t been too persistent though, so I think I must have pulled off a very simplified version and it been enough for now.

  12. 6.26.13
    Rosemary said:

    I think whatever age they start to show interest is the appropriate age. I knew how babies were made at 7 because my mom was pregnant and I wanted to know. Two boys I nannied for (ages 4 and 6) knew how both male and female reproductive systems worked because they were fascinated by the subject. They had wonderful books on the topic and the oldest loved tracing the pictures of how the fallopian tubes connected to the ovaries and uterus. My 2 year old knows she has a uterus and that it’s for growing babies.

    We have to educate kids when they show us they’re ready for it. Avoiding sexual topics make them more taboo and usher in room for playground sex ed.

  13. 6.26.13

    Last fall, TJ asked us what sex was, thanks to TV commercials during Wheel of Fortune. Tom and I looked at each other, and I said to him that it was a complicated answer, and that, “Daddy and I would like to talk first about how best to explain it to you.” I asked him for two days to come up with a good answer for him. He lost interest in the subject, and he hasn’t brought it up again.

    I know it’s just a matter of time, though.

  14. 6.26.13
    Alison said:

    I don’t think 7 is too young at all. When I was 8 a friend told me, and it was somewhat upsetting. I wish my parents had told me sooner. It doesn’t have to be some crazy stigmatized thing, and it’s not like explaining the basics needs to include deeper conversations or even mention the seedy side of sex like STDs, prositution, porn, or whatever. My kids don’t know about intercourse yet (oldest is 5.5) but they know more than “wishes” and I’m glad they’ve heard what the have from us and not some kid on the playground.

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