25 Things You Don’t Want to Hear When You’re Pregnant

25 Things You Don’t Want to Hear When You’re Pregnant

I’m officially 21 weeks and 5 days today, meaning… I’m 5 months along.

Since this is my 5th baby, I’ve gotten better and better at filtering out comments and things about pregnancy that you just don’t want to hear when you’re (well) pregnant.  I know people try to make you feel good or maybe they’re just not good at having censors, but there are things you just don’t want to hear when you’re pregnant.

At all.

When I was first pregnant with my oldest son in 2004, it bothered me way more than it does now… but it’s funny, even now – my 5th time around – there are still things that make my eyes roll (even if they’re meant to be said with good intentions).

(Blame my hormones.)

25 Things You Don’t Want to Hear When You’re Pregnant:

1. You FINALLY got your girl! (As much as I am over the moon about having a baby girl, we weren’t trying for a girl… we really just did want another baby.)

2. You’re done now, right? (As if I have 20 kids.)

3. How are you going to pay for college with all those kids? (I’m just trying to get through K, 1st and 2nd grade right now!)

4. You and Vera have to do everything together, huh?

5. How much weight have you gained so far?

6. Are you getting your tubes tied?

7. Why would you opt for a c-section?

8. Did you have acne with your boys?

9. You sure are going to have your hands full! (I thought we had our hands full when we went past 1?)

10. Just think, as soon as you started to have it easy, you’re doing it again!

11. Get all the sleep you can right now! You’ll be waking up 2 or 3 times a night for the next 6 months!

12. You’re breastfeeding, right? (I’m always surprised people ask this question this way. I was never able to breastfeed my sons and it was devastating to me. It’s hurtful when people say it like this when they don’t know a person’s personal history.)

13. You got rid of everything after the boys? Oh, man… so you need to buy everything for her?(Yup, and everything we had was blue, too… so I guess that was a good thing.)

14. Just think how hot it will be this summer when you have her! (I know, I’ve had a June and 2 September babies.)

15. WOW! You’re BIG!

16. So you won’t be wearing a bathing suit this summer, huh?

17. Were you trying for a 5th?

18. YOU DON’T want to hear people’s advice on what you should name your child.

19. YOU DON’T want to hear about people’s pregnant horror stories, that’s just not good for anyone!

20. You’re not flying? But WHY?

21. You’re looking pale… you can tell it’s a girl.

22. You’re carrying differently than you were with the boys (yup, with the boys I just had a basketball belly).

23. How is it being pregnant when you’re older? (I’m only 34!!)

24. Just think, with a girl… wedding, proms, hormones, etc… (Yup, and I can’t wait!)

25. What will you do about work? You won’t be able to keep up with your schedule anymore. (Hmmm… no comment.)

 

25 Things You Don’t Want to Hear When You’re Pregnant was last modified: March 8th, 2013 by Audrey McClelland
SHOWHIDE Comments (27)
  1. That sums it up! The worst is after you deliver and people ask when you are due or 6 months later they ask oh you’re pregnant again!

  2. This is an interesting read because honestly… when I hear someone has 4 children & is adding to their brood, I silently ponder some of these same q’s. With good intentions of course… but as mom to one toddler, I can’t imagine having 2,3,4 & especially 5. I think it’s just a general interest inquiry but you’re right… the answer is really no one else’s business & it puts you in a tough spot having to decline to answer such personal questions. I’m just fascinated by those who have 3 children, never mind more. It’s almost mind-boggling to me as the parent of 1.

  3. You are beautiful. Stay positive. Unfortunately, we will always say stupid things to each other. 🙂

  4. Oh my goodness…yes! There is something comforting about knowing that these comments are universal and you are hearing them too. When we were pregnant with #4 I think I heard all of these and it only got worse with pregnancies 5 and 6 (which both resulted in late miscarriage). I’m always the most surprised by flat out blunt questions about our finances…and don’t forget the comments about being ‘responsible’ by not overpopulating the planet. Thanks for sharing this Audrey and seriously- Congratulations!!!

  5. Which is totally fine, I just HATE it when I get the comments. I would never question someone’s choice on the # of children they have b/c nobody’s knows the history and personal story/struggle behind every mom. I wish more people were like you, even if you think it… you don’t say it!

  6. 🙂 i’ve received most of those too and a couple others (‘You’re having another? But you already got your boy!” ??) sometimes i’ve been able to laugh them off, sometimes not. but now what I’m learning is that, even having been on the receiving end, I can all to quickly make unthoughtful comments to other moms. Think its rooted in my own pride. Hoping I can become a better listener and question-asker…

  7. Oh Audrey! Great list — this one made me (actually) laugh out loud: “Just think, as soon as you started to have it easy, you’re doing it again!”

    Does it ever get EASY? 😉

  8. oh my gosh these are so funny (and yet aggrivating at the same time LOL) don’t forget the ‘you’re not having twins are you’ … everyone said that to me the 1st time because i was so big… and there was just 1 baby. which made it crazier when we DID have twins thd 2nd time.

  9. Thank you for writing this honest list. When you’re pregnant, it’s an exciting thing. No matter what. So many people can be nosy and negative. Tune them out and enjoy. You are a rock star!

  10. I get the “You gonna try for a boy??” still. Drives me nuts. The questions about my physical shape didn’t bother me much, but it would annoy me when anyone brought money into an inquiry– like your “how will you pay for their college” question. like everything else, it works out. that kinda stuff bugged me. and i can’t believe anyone would phrase the breastfeeding question like that. i would never even ask my closest friends what they were planning on doing.

    i think i’m guilty of asking you if you got rid of all your baby stuff from before.. but i was really just curious b/c i was gonna hold some stuff for you! i also asked you why you were taking the train, but i wasn’t putting two and two together at the time about flying while pregnant. truth be told, i keep forgetting your pregnant because you just go about life as usual!

  11. Ugh this list is all too familiar for me with my third girl just entering our world! Even now I get asked if we’re going for a 4th! Lol you look so gorgeous btw!

  12. Thanks for articulating a lot of the things that I thought when I was pregnant. If you had come up with a few fewer things, I would have printed this on a t shirt when I was pregnant! People say the most bizarre things to pregnant women, most of which are well intentioned, but still…

  13. I hear all those same comments and more! I’ve even been told “your husband must have a good job to afford all those kids.” With a 5 yr gap between my #4 and #5 I’m just waiting for the day someone asks me if they have the same dad. OR the day someone thinks #5 is my grandson since I’m an “old mom” (38).

  14. THANK YOU FOR THIS LIST! I want to share this every day.
    You are beautiful mama and I’m so happy that you’re able to handle 5! I KNOW that you will not only keep up, but continue to leave most of us in the dust. Sadly, people ask questions like this because they could probably not do what you’re doing- ever!
    You inspire me (we want 3, but people think we are nuts because of Addie’s special needs)- I hope to be 1/2 the mom you are! Keep on rockin’!

  15. I’m in SHOCK, utter shock anyone would say these things…my thoughts:

    1. A girl is a blessing but a HEALTHY BABY is the blessing…I know you were excited no matter if the baby was a boy or girl and it’s insulting to suggest anything different

    2. You look AMAZING…I was just saying the other day how unreal you look…talk about glow and you’re all belly!

    3. You and Vera’s timing is beautiful and such a blessing

    4. You’re already busy with 4 boys, having another person to take care of is something you’ll naturally assimilate to very quickly! And you have your village to help!

    5. I love your boys’ names and I have no doubt your girl name will be perfect for her

    6. So happy for you…I wish you all the best, you are wonderful parents so have as many kids as you want!!!!!!!

    XO

  16. Great to put this list out there because I honestly think some people who mean well are truly clueless about how it feels from your end to get those questions or comments.

  17. Love these! I have gotten quite a few even though it’s my first and I have gained the average amount of weight. My recent favorite is when people say “It feels like you have been pregnant for forever!” How the heck am I supposed to respond to that??? Or the need for people share their pregnancy/delivery horror stories. Awesome – thanks for sharing. You made my day so much brighter. I look forward to labor so much more now, lol.

  18. I used to hate “You’ve been busy.” When I was pushing a double stroller pregnant.
    You know my favorite bathing suit of all time was my maternity bathing suit. I was never so comfortable as I was in that one, and I got to wear it two years in a row. Too bad the I got pregnant with the 3rd in Aug and had her in April.

  19. I get “Are you SURE you’re pregnant?!?”. Yup I have been to every appointment with my HR dr and my OB and they both confirm I am almost 8 months pregnant. Not to mention I can feel her wiggling and kicking me.

    People really should think before they say something. I also hated after having my son when people would say “Oh you can be done you have a boy and a girl”. I think any mom is happy with the outcome of the sex whether that is all boys/ all girls or a combination in between.