5 Tips to ensure a Care Recipient is safe during a short or extended visit…

I am not a certified caregiver, nurse, physician, therapist, social worker or elder care specialist.

I am a daughter, a happy-to-be-so common sensible caregiver to my Mom, and honored to be a member of the AARP Kitchen Cabinet on Caregiving.

My Mom, Rita, is going on 88.  She lives independently in senior housing, spends time at her local Senior Center and loves that she still has a semblance of her coveted independence. Rita takes the senior bus to a weekly grocery shopping trip, to her weekly hair appointment and to the senior center for exercise classes and a community of friendship.  Both my Mom and I feel safe at the present time with her housing and senior activities; here’s a handy and comprehensive checklist from AARP.org regarding Home Safety that we’ve checked and continue to check to ensure optimal safety.

I take care of everything else: physician/dental/PT appointments; banking needs; the very fun and relaxing mani/pedi appointments; restaurant/ice cream/Pinkberry/coffee shop outings; and everything to keep my Mom involved with my large family of 4 kids, their spouses, 9 (going on 10) grandchildren and a few granddoggies.

I pick up my Mom often for visits to my home for anything from birthday parties, holiday celebrations, my town’s famous 4th of July Parade, outdoor concerts in the summer, to just relaxing on my back patio with an iced tea and a good book in the spring and summer or sinking into a comfortable chair with a hot tea and a good book in the fall and winter. I also take my Mom to as many events as I can related to my blog, Mom Generations, that I own with my two adult daughters, Audrey and Jane.  Last week, we all attended the Providence GO RED American Heart Association Luncheon, where Audrey (3rd from left– pregnant with her 5th child!) was the Keynote Speaker…

My Mom and I have a good system of getting her safely in and out of my car (I have a SUV; my Mom is 4’7″).  We have a good system of knowing where ramps are and where to park. We know which restaurants have comfortable chairs/are well heated or air-conditioned/easy ladies’ room access/offer Senior specials!  Through trial and error, we’ve discovered a nail salon with friendly service and comfortable salon chairs and a bank with wonderful customer service.

It’s the visits to my home, often upside down with activity, that has created the need for TIPS that I’ve created to ensure the safety and comfort of my Mom, lovingly known as Grandma Rita:

1. A 3-day Supply of Medications.  My Mom’s medications are vital to her health and well-being.  If ever there is a need for Rita to stay overnight at my home, or if she has forgotten to take her medications on a particular visit, her meds are safely stored and available.  Easy enough.

2. A Supply of Batteries (and filters) specific to my Mom’s hearing aids and other comforts.  Vital to my Mom’s life are her hearing aids. Stored and replenished batteries and filters is a life-line that we’ve needed on more than one occasion.  My Mom also uses a large faced battery-operated clock and battery-operated radio at her apartment. I’ve purchased ones like these for my home and also keep batteries stored for these important-to-my-Mom comforts.

3. A Footstool.  There doesn’t exist a chair that allows my tiny Mom to touch her feet to the ground. I keep a footstool at my home just for her.  Sounds simple, but this allows Rita to read, eat, chat, watch television and visit in great comfort, taking pressure from her back, neck and legs. My grandchildren love bringing Grandma Rita her footstool with the dancing reindeer…

My Mom’s special footstool, her sneakers, a warm blanket and a great-granddog keeping her company!

4.  A Generator.  We live in New England, and are susceptible to all kinds of weather conditions.  If any weather event is predicted, my Mom stays with my husband and me at our home.  We specifically bought a Generator for Rita’s safety and comfort. During the last storm, The Blizzard of ’13 (aka Nemo), our electricity dimmed and then disappeared during the height of the storm.  Our Generator allowed us to use portable heating units, keep our refrigerator running and watch DVD’s for 2 days.  Rita was warm, well fed and entertained…

My Mom loves dogs, but does not hesitate to remind me that she never allowed my beloved childhood dog to sleep on furniture or beds.  These dogs are 2 of my daughter Jane’s 3 dogs… and I know Rita loves them and their company, and even secretly loves their company on my furniture!

5.  A Stash of favorite cereal, tea bag brand, hand cream, sunblock (and visors), new romance novels; and a collection of DVD’s.  The aforementioned require no explanation.  The DVD collection is wonderful entertainment for my Mom.  Rita loves getting lost in a movie or television series, but has given up fighting with her DVD player at her apartment.  If my Mom is visiting and I want to head out on a run, an errand, to the supermarket, or my grandkids are super-actively running around my house, etc., I pop in a movie and know that Rita is safely transported to anywhere she wants to go.  During The Blizzard, we had a marathon of entertainment…

Yes, Rita watched Grandma’s Boy… and was a very good sport about it, albeit saying Oh, Lord aloud just about every 2 minutes.  I don’t think we’ve ever laughed as hard…

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Of course, there are the safety & comfort RULES that my grandkids (ages 4 – 12) must follow… no toys, sporting equipment, shoes/clothing, electronics/related electrical cords and gadgets left on any floor or any chair any time Grandma Rita is visiting.  It is amazing to see how seriously 9 kids behave in the care of Grandma Rita.  My Mom gives her great-grandchildren a beautiful perspective on age as CARE, as LOVE, as FAMILY RESPONSIBILITY.

I talk openly to my grandkids about a COMMON SENSE, responsible approach to lots of things;  but I think the common sense love and care I pass along to my grandchildren about caregiving may very well be the greatest lesson I ever give to them.

This is our life, our love, our family, and everyone chips in… even the dogs!

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As a Caregiver, I turn to AARP.org/Caregiving for every question I have in the care of my Mom, from daily care, housing options and legal advice to medical features, a Caregiving community and the important topic of caring for the caregiver.  Those of us who Caregive are not alone, even though it may sometimes seem so; and sometimes the best days turn in a heartbeat to the most challenging days.  AARP has provided us with a strong, vibrant community of experts for all of our Caregiving days, as well as those of us trying our best at common sense… with lots of welcomed help and advice.

Sharon Couto is a member of AARP’s Blogger Kitchen Cabinet on #caregiving issues. All opinions are her own.