Among the many challenges, there’s this magical thing about Caregiving…

Referencing the AARP Bulletin, the statistics regarding the challenges of Caregiving are staggering…

– Although they don’t necessarily identify themselves as caregivers, more than 45 million Americans perform some form of consistent care for older or impaired adult relatives or friends. This can range from paying bills, to driving Mom or Dad to doctor appointments, to more hands-on care such as bathing, dressing and meal preparation.

– Family caregiving is the backbone of long-term care in this country, providing a staggering $450 billion worth of unpaid care annually. Yet most families are not prepared for the day when a family member needs caregiving. Most don’t even know what tasks are involved, what questions to ask, let alone what kind of help is available.

– Over 40 percent of family caregivers feel they had no choice in taking on their caregiving role. Caregiving can be daunting, frustrating and, at times, overwhelming. There’s so much to deal with and so much emotion in the experience. The stress and time involved can take a toll on the caregiver’s own health and finances as they put off their own doctor visits, dip into their savings, reduce their physical activity and cut back their working hours. Feeling isolated and alone, caregivers often seek out reassurance, confidence and support from others who are on a similar journey.

AARP is addressing this problem by building the AARP Caregiving Resource Center, whose aim is to be an essential resource where caregivers can find experts, advice, local agencies and the information they need. And there’s more. At the resource center, caregivers can communicate with other caregivers. AARP has been working with the Advertising Council to publicize this invaluable resource.

But as we pull away the layers and layers of challenges in caring for elderly parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, relatives, friends and neighbors, there’s this magical thing about Caregiving, too…  it’s teaching the gift of GIVING CARE to our children and grandchildren through example.

I am a Caregiver to my 87-year old Mom, Rita.  I write about my journey to Caregiving here… (warning, long story!).  As a Mom of 4 and Grandma of 9, I think my greatest gift, my most meaningful mark, my legacy, if you will, is the CARE and LOVE I give to their Grandma and their Great-Grandma Rita in her time of life when she needs me most.

The magic comes through the mingling of generations and the natural way my grandkids take my Mom’s hands or arms to help her walk; or giggle at how a couple of them are *now as tall as she is; or grab a pillow to support her back; or help her take out her trash in her giant shopping cart; or go right to the tiny toys she keeps stashed in secret places in her apartment; or know what kind of ice cream she loves (coffee!); or ask, “Is Grandma Rita coming?”  The magic comes from my grandkids knowing my Mom’s restrictions in mobility and developing great patience in watching her and in helping her.  The magic comes from experiencing the natural progression of life, of asking questions, sometimes very poignant questions about life and about death.  The magic comes from the memories my Mom creates as she doles out her famous dollar bills or dresses to the 9’s, down to her famously bold fashion prints, florals and sparkly costume jewelry.

Of course, there are things my Mom cannot do anymore and activities she cannot attend.  There are many times that I must hold back from cheering on the sidelines of a grandchild’s swim meet, basketball game, etc. so I can sit with my Mom.  There are many times I’m the last to arrive and the first to leave with my Mom… but her presence is always a spark of magic in our lives.

Always.

The great gift in my life is to see my Mom with my children and my grandchildren, and to know and see the lessons in patience, family care and love that are soaking into their heads and hearts…

(*Note my two 11-year old granddaughters, in yellow dresses, are taller than my Mom!)

Yes, I am one of the 40% of family caregivers who feel I had no choice in taking on my caregiving role.  My vibrant, independent Mom aged before my very eyes; one of the most difficult things to experience. Yes, caregiving can be daunting, isolating, emotional and, at times, overwhelming.  Yes, the stress and time and worry takes its toll.  But like millions of other caregivers, AARP has given me tools in seeking out reassurance, confidence and support from others who are on a similar journey.

I need these tools.  I use these tools.

But I will always recognize the magic, too…

If you are a caregiver or know a caregiver, please visit aarp.com/caregiving for caregiving resources.

I am a member of AARP’s Kitchen Cabinet on Caregiving and Caresupport.  All opinions are my own.