What I know for sure…

I’ve been with Matt in the hospital non-stop since Sunday night at 9PM. The only time I’ve left is to go home to see the kids and try to keep them in some sort of normalcy at the moment. OK, and I’ve showered. πŸ™‚ There’s something genuinely delicious about a good shower. Over the last 3 days I’ve been trying my best to be strong for my husband, my sons, my immediate family and my in-laws. I’ve never been the one to need to be the rock before, but for the first time… I need to be truly the adult. I’m the one that needs to ask the questions. I’m the one that needs to be Matt’s best advocate.

As I’ve been here and allowed Matt to sleep and doze off here and there, I’ve realized some pretty incredible things… things that I know for sure (and I’m totally not trying to steal this from Oprah):

Photo from Oprah.com

1. I will never ever, ever take ONE day for granted. EVER. I’m not kidding. Just Sunday night before all this happened I was complaining about feeling stressed over the housework and work and booking an upcoming vacation. Silly stuff. I wish to God right now that was all I still had to complain about. But you know what – these things all work out. The chores get done. The work somehow always pulls through and works itself out and the vacation… who really cares about the extra money it would be, right? Life is worth living in the moment. And everything single moment and second is precious.

2. Friends are truly an amazing thing. I’m not usually one to need people for things. I’ve got my family and my close friends, but I’m not really one to reach out and ever ask for anything. I’ve always been that way. I guess I’ve always figured, I can do it… I don’t need to bother people. Well… what an education I’ve had over the last 3 days. I cannot get over the amazingness of my friends. The calls, the texts, the emails, the FB messages, the tweets. People offering to fly here and help out. One of our best friend’s came yesterday to see Matt and sat with us all day for 6 hours! People sending food. People just being incredibly good people who care. Friends… we all need them. And I am blessed to have them.

3. Always go to the doctor when you feel like something is wrong or just “off.” I can’t stress enough how important this is… Matt just felt off and I could tell he was in some pain, thank GOD we went to the hospital.

4. Family is the MOST important thing in the world. My family has been my support always, but over the last 3 days… well, they’ve been my survival.

5. My sons… it never ceases to amaze me how much joy they bring me. Even a simple game of Battleship today with Alexander and hearing Ben say to me, “Mom… I farted on you.” It’s the simple things, right?

What I know for sure… was last modified: February 1st, 2012 by Audrey McClelland
SHOWHIDE Comments (45)
  1. As I said before – you have an amazing family -both near and far – and I’m glad that you’re getting the help and support you need – TAKE IT – don’t shoulder everything yourself, and absolutely be Matt’s advocate – be the grown up – but take care of yourself, too, Audrey. We love you!

  2. hey hun…i agree. Things change so quickly. P has RSV and that came randomly this week..i just wnt to the dr on an instinct and bam!

    I pray for matts fast recovery

    trisha

  3. SO very true. I was whining about something and then we got the call that my husband’s grandma died. Suddenly everything else wasn’t important anymore….

    still praying, dear!

    xo,
    mel

  4. So true. It sucks to have to go through something like this to learn the #1 lesson – the one about not taking a single day for granted, but ever since the day I decided to do just that I’ve been happier all around. Chaos may be close by, but my faith, and my serenity rarely falter if I remember to keep focused on doing that moment, and what I have going for me right then and there.
    Every day now I make a mental gratitude list. And what keeps me making that list is people like you, and Susan (@whymommy), and others who share their stories so that I’m reminded of how much I have.

    Thanks for the update and you are all in my thoughts.

  5. It’s a shame that it takes a tough circumstance to see what’s important. I’ve been there! Joining all of the SMM gals and sending love and support

  6. So perfectly said! Losing my dad last year changed so much for me in looking at things differently. Who cares that the windex sits on the table for 1 month? Cherish the time we have each and every day. LOVE this post! And still sending prayers your way. Looking for a great report from the biopsy.

  7. Such true, true words. What I love most about kids during times like this is just how they just seem to know how to live in the moment. I may want to curl up in a ball and stress/cry/worry, but they want to eat a snack/play a game/hear a story. I don’t see it as selfish, i just see it as living for right now without dwelling on all the possible “IF’s”. I know your boys will be a huge strength to you all.

    Thinking of you all.

  8. Oh my goodness Audrey… I’ve been out of the loop and just discovered this now. I saw your mom’s and Jane’s updates on Facebook and came right over to find out what was happening.

    I’m sooooooo terribly sorry!!!!

    I’m praying for Matt and your family.

    Big hugs!

  9. Sometimes it takes a traumatic event to remind us how important it is to life live with gratitude and without complacency. There’s no more important lesson than remembering to savor every moment and put the silly minutiae in perspective. Sending prayers of good health and strength.

  10. Audrey, though we’ve never met in person, I’ve had so may opportunities to connect with your family via the internet.. we run in some of the same circles that way, (I’m roughly your mom’s age (maybe older) we’re all italians and I feel like we’re family that way.. your news of Matt, your video, your pain has touched my heart, in fact just grabbed it by the core.. I’m old enough to have loved and lost.. you my ‘friend’ are not.. how unfair this seems at your youth to have the love of your life facing the unknown.. you’re strong honey, but don’t try to bear the weight all alone.. lean on those who love you most, your mom, dad, sis, brother(s), your friends are there for you.. scream in the shower if you need to. Hold your family close. Pray hard, and often, and thank GOD for all of your blessings. Kiss those babies, and Matty too.. We’re sending up prayers, love and all sorts of good wishes and maybe a little pixie dust. God has a plan, we don’t know what it is. we love you all because you’re a ‘part’ of us..

  11. Audrey you are an incredible women and you are blessed with an amazing family, but they are lucky to have you too. Only a strong person could look at the situation at this early point in time, and glean meaningful lessons about life, and only a special person would take the time to share them. Take each day as it comes, we love you!

  12. I have been following your blog, for I think a little over a yr.,.. and LOVE it. Don’t read it every day,… so, I was shocked to see yesterdays video of you explaining the situation with Matt. (I cried with you.) I am praying for you and your family. Praying for good results and quick healing.

  13. You say that you’ve never had to be the rock before, but Audrey, that is exactly what you are to so many of us. The blogger buddy who is drama free, tells it to you straight, always thankful to be included in things, always willing to include others, guaranteed to be good company and a fun time, yet 100% professional and the person you want in your corner. And for me personally, you’re that voice in my head that says, “Amy, the crop top is okay, but for the love of God, LAYER.” You’ve always been a rock to those around you and no doubt you are doing an amazing job of it now. I hope you also find moments to lean on those around you and rest to get the strength you’ll need in the weeks ahead. Thank you for this amazing post full of the reminders that we all need. Now I’ll think of you when I slow down and appreciate my family and not just when I get dressed to leave the house. πŸ™‚ Love you, friend.

  14. Thank you for sharing this. It’s terrific that you can see joy and gain a new perspective through this. My prayers continue for Matt and your family and you too!

  15. A life changing moment puts it all in perspective. Sometimes you have to wonder if someone “upstairs” was looking down and thinking, “this woman needs to slow down…” Not exactly the way you want to be forced to do that, but so it goes. Savor each moment with your husband, cheer him on as he recovers, enjoy the farts your boys so enjoy making (they also do this as teens, just so you know….), and most importantly, take time for you. Even if it’s just to sit and watch your husband rest.

    Simple stuff is often the most memorable. You will look back one day with your husband and remember something as absurd as the horrible hospital Jello —- it will be as important as a fancy vacation in your book of memories.

    Audrey, you are a wonder-mom just like your own mom is. Enjoy all the help you can get right now and focus on rest & good health for everyone, including you. πŸ™‚

  16. Well said! My daughter just asked me to cuddle with her and I have so much work to do but the cuddle is more important! You’ve got it right Audrey! You, Matt and the family are in my prayers and thoughts!

    {hugs!}

  17. Tell that big horse in the hospital to keep fighting and stay positive! I spent 24 days in the hospital 2 years ago with two liver abcesses so I feel where your coming from. My wife was strong just like you are Audrey stay strong and positive for the big fella, and I’ll see you guys at the Pbar next Thanksgiving, email me if you need anything and tell Matt coach Garritys gonna call him. He got all the folks back at home pullin for him.

    Love, TJ, Angela, Dante, and Dominic Srsic

  18. God bless, Audrey. You will have many more years to both cherish and complain about the small stuff. Speedy recovery and best wishes to your husband.

  19. I think everyone has a wake-up call, the thing that slaps them in the face and reminds them that we’re fragile and that life here can end at any moment. Mine was at age 26 when my dad was diagnosed with and died from cancer. Unfortunately, that moment can also put you in a state where nothing matters any more. Be careful and watch for the signs of depression. It can sneak up on you when you least expect it and when you think you’ve got it together.

    (((HUGS)) to you all and take care of yourself.

  20. The day that we decided that Daniel could not work any more and that I had to go to work full time changed my life forever. If I could go back in time I would not take those days for granted like I did because I will never be able to go back. Being able to go to school parties,being the home room mom, being their for when my kids are sick even little things like hanging out with my friends and volunteering. Those things are almost impossible now. Sometimes it takes something drastic for God to wake us up and pull us closer to him.

    Audrey, you guys are in our prayers and I hope Matt is doing much better. You are an incredibly strong woman, wife and mom. Everything else can wait. When this is all over take some time out for you and your family. (It’s the same advice people keep telling me that I should be taking myself) We all get so busy that life passes right before our eyes.

  21. Audrey, from afar, we are praying for your family. You are a strong, talented woman and Matt is blessed to have you at his side. I agree with everything you’ve said and appreciate you saying it out loud to remind us all. xo Beth

  22. I love this blog because of how honest you are and how much I relate to you and your life. You are so strong but you know when to ask for help and that is an important thing. I love that your sons “fart on you.” Cracks me up! Thanks for reminding ME to enjoy each moment…we are all thinking of you and still praying…you’ve got your village, sister!

What I know for sure… was last modified: February 1st, 2012 by Audrey McClelland