The Egg Salad snub…

To understand the title of this post, you must first understand how a talent for Egg Salad has been passed from generation to generation to generation to generation.  It’s in the DNA.

If you’re counting, that’s 4 generations… and I’m not in on any of these generations.

But my husband Barry is.

And my daughter Audrey is.

You see, Barry’s Mom, Flo, arguably made the best Egg Salad in the entire history of the world.  I’ll admit to that.  And Barry is as close to second as any human being (or Egg Salad God) could get.

Because of this, I don’t make Egg Salad.  It would be a futile attempt at induction into the Egg Salad Hall of Fame.  It just ain’t gonna happen.

But every once-in-awhile I venture there… treading ever so lightly.  Yesterday was one such day.  Here’s the story…

On Sunday night, Barry had a hankering for Egg Salad.  Not for Sunday night, mind you. But for Monday’s lunch.  I volunteered to boil the eggs, but it seems I don’t know exactly how to exactly boil eggs.  OK.  Been here countless times before.  There’s the exact boiling point, exact minutes, exact “resting” time, the exact refrigeration.  You know… all for perfect Egg Salad.

So I did what I do.  Stand down.

The hard boiled eggs turned out, as always, perfect… and they were refrigerated overnight.

So just where does the Egg Salad snub come from?

Enter Audrey.

Yesterday morning, I had 6-year old Alex (who attends afternoon Kindergarten) at my home for an hour or so.  We did a few chores, ate lunch, learned a couple of new reading words and laughed a lot.

When Audrey picked up Alex, I told her what Alex had eaten for lunch and asked, “Do you want some lunch?”

Audrey answered, “What do you have?”

I know I only had hard boiled eggs at that point, but knowing I would attempt the impossible, I said, “Egg Salad.”

Audrey eyed me suspiciously.  “Did Dad make it?” she asked.

All Audrey had to do was hear the “N” part of my NO to respond, “You know, I have a conference call at noon.”


I said, “I can make…”

But Audrey was already in her car, down my driveway and heading to her home.  (Well, not really… but she clearly did not trust me with Egg Salad.)

At just about that same time, Barry called to tell me he was heading home from a business meeting and would stop home to make his Egg Salad.

I said, “Do you want me to make it?”

All Barry had to hear was the “D” part of my Do to respond, “You know, I can whip it up in no time.”

Yep. The EGG SALAD SNUB.  Squared.

So I waited for Barry to come home.

And I watched this magical process of Egg Salad unfold…

The perfectly boiled eggs must be peeled perfectly and chopped perfectly, too.
The juice of an onion, scraped with a fork, is a sort-of secret ingredient.
... and this onion juice process must be speedy.
Then the perfect portion of Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise. (There are no measurements... it's all done by DNA.)

Oh… speaking of Hellmann’s Real Mayo, I once bought a generic brand of mayo.  ‘Nuff said.

And another time I bought Hellmann’s Light Mayonnaise.  (No wonder I’m not trusted with Egg Salad.)

Add fresh ground pepper.

(And a couple of very secret “family” ingredients.)

"Fresh bread"... (Barry actually uses the term "fresh bread")

One Egg Salad Sandwich at home.

And one for the road…

Yes. One for the road.

The EGG SALAD SNUB “squared” sent me to my stash of family recipe books.  I found Flo’s wonderful recipes.  I found her sister Ursula’s recipes.  I studied them.  Page by page…

But I found no recipe what-so-ever for Egg Salad.

I’m telling you… it’s not in the pages of note cards or recipe cards.

It’s not scribbled on the back page of a cookbook.


It’s in the DNA. Mamie Bell to Flo to Barry to our children… and maybe well before and well beyond.

But I will tell you one thing.  I’m one of the lucky recipients of the of the Egg Salad magic… even if I don’t know the real measurements, the real secrets and the real deal.

Thanks, Honey… snub and all!

(I’ve known all along that one secret ingredient is REAL LOVE!)




















The Egg Salad snub… was last modified: November 1st, 2011 by Sharon Couto
SHOWHIDE Comments (5)
  1. Ok, you flung a craving on me for egg salad. I have never made egg salad, nor have ever tried it cause I guess you could call me an egg salad snub…But since having colon problems and eating boiled eggs more in my lifetime than ever, I think I could really try this and like it. Barry looks awful handsome standing there making his egg salad…I will let you know how mine turns out…

  2. Huhhhh.. How to you make perfectly boiled eggs again…..?
    Any hints of the very secret family additions to
    the receipe? Such as a touch of______ and ______ ??? Maybe?
    Love your stuff! (I Luv great Egg Salad)

The Egg Salad snub… was last modified: November 1st, 2011 by Sharon Couto