On October 5, my countdown began: 30 days until my 30th birthday. In honor of this, on each of the 30 days leading up to my birthday I will recount one memory from the past 30 years… either one that has helped define me, one that makes me laugh, one that makes me think, one that encourages me…  or maybe a little of everything. If possible, I will post a photo to go along with the memory.

It’s my 30/30/30 Project: 30 years. 30 memories. 30 days.

Here is my memory for Day #6:

Yesterday I shared my memories from my first day of Kindergarten. Today? Back to 1998; memories from my first day of college. Or, more specifically, the day my family dropped me off at college for orientation, as classes didn’t officially start for a few more days.

I graduated from Brown, but my collegiate life began at Bowdoin College in Maine.

I was excited to begin college, but nervous, too. I had had a great summer at home. And I wasn’t one of those people who couldn’t wait to get out of my parents’ house. Leaving my family, as well as my boyfriend at the time, who was going into his junior year at Brown, was going to be hard.

Bowdoin offers all incoming first-year students the option of a pre-orientation trip, a 5-day excursion with a small group of other incoming first-years and a leader. To further explain what these trips are, I’m going to borrow from Bowdoin’s website: Put together under the direction of the Bowdoin Outing Club, the trips serve to build community and leadership among the incoming class, as well as to introduce students to the beauty, geography and natural resources of Maine.

About 3/4 of the incoming students take part in these trips, but I decided not to go. My parents, Audrey and my boyfriend drove me up to Bowdoin the evening before the students who did go on the trips were coming back. We walked around the campus that night, ate dinner in the town of Brunswick and retreated to the hotel to get a good sleep before moving day.

The next morning brought grey skies and light rain. We drove to the campus, which was still pretty empty, as the pre-orientation go-ers were set to start arriving back on campus later that afternoon. Since both of my roommates had gone on trips, it was just me and my crew unpacking in the room that morning. Afterward, we checked out the student union, opened my mailbox to see if there was any mail yet (there wasn’t) and stopped by the bookstore, where I got a Bowdoin umbrella and then posed next to the polar bear (Bowdoin’s mascot) statue outside of the entrance to Sargent Gymnasium.

As students started to trickle in from their trips, I was able to meet my roommates, as well as other people in my dorm. Everyone seemed to know everyone else already and I started to wonder if not going on a pre-orientation trip had been a bad idea. After a little floor meeting with our RA, we were allowed to do whatever we wanted for awhile, so my plan was to eat dinner with my family and boyfriend before they took off back to Rhode Island.

At dinner, I started crying. I didn’t want to stay. I didn’t want them to leave. Everyone I met seemed so excited to be there, so ready to be on their own, but I was feeling so unready to say goodbye to the familiar little group of people I loved. I begged them to stay one more night in the hotel. I would stay with them and then they could drop me off the next morning. I just needed one more night.

So we put that plan into action. The five of us stayed another night in the hotel together. The next morning, we all went to breakfast in town and they convinced me to give it a try. They tried to keep things light and positive, even though I’m sure they knew they’d miss me, too.

Shortly after breakfast, my dad pulled our car up in front of my dorm. It was really time for me to go. I said goodbye one last time, then walked upstairs to the top floor, into my new home. One of the windows opened up to the parking lot, so I opened it up and waved at my parents, Audrey and my boyfriend as they drove away.

I think back now and realize that, at 17 years old, I was still very much just a kid. Eleven years later, I would move away from home for the second time. And while the transition was easier as a 28-year-old, I still missed my family.

Ultimately, there were two reasons I transferred to Brown after a year and a half at Bowdoin: 1) I wanted to be closer to my family (big surprise) and 2) With a student body of about 1600, it ended up being a bit too small for me.

But I am happy I said goodbye to my family on that day back in 1998. I ended up having wonderful experiences during my time at Bowdoin. I had amazing professors and made some lasting friendships.

I will be forever grateful for my time as a Polar Bear.