There are moments…

There are moments in life where you know, this is a “moment.” This is something I will remember forever. And you then try as best as you can to tuck that “moment” into the depths of your heart and soul, so you won’t ever forget that exact moment.

I had one of these “moments” on Thursday. And it’s funny… but I know why that moment happened on that particular day, right around that particular time.

My moment was watching my beautiful 4-year old son William swim one lap of the pool, all by himself. No bubble. No noodle. No teacher swimming next to him. Just him. With his cute little arms pushing forward and his little legs kicking as fast as they could. It was a moment where I literally had tears building up beneath my sunglasses, and my smile was (quite literally) from ear to ear. He was so proud of himself, and I couldn’t have been any prouder. My son. My oldest son. Swimming.

Only 5 weeks ago, this was a little boy who wouldn’t even dare put his head down to blow bubbles with the other kids in his lesson. His determination to swim was priceless, but his fear of getting his face wet just paralyzed him. I don’t know what it was. I don’t know if it was watching his beloved older cousin Andrew swim every single day. I don’t know if it was being in his swimming lesson and listening intently to his teachers. I don’t know if it was the goggles Pop-up bought him Wednesday night. I don’t know. All I know is that something yesterday made him “just do it.” And he did it, he did it big.

The reason this moment in time means so much to me is because today, a year ago, my beautiful Nana… my paternal grandmother… passed away. She was 89-years old. It has been 365 days of missing her. 365 days of wanting to make that call to her house and tell her about the boys’ latest “things.” It’s been a long year of missing her. I have been told my whole life, “Oh, you’re just like your Nana.” Our tastes in food. Our love and devotion to family. Our need to be work-horses. Our both having all boys. Our passion for a good romance novel. Our never-ending love of shopping. Our sense of humors. Our loyalty. Our love to talk and talk and talk. I was, in so many, many ways, just like my Nana.

She loved that I had sons. She loved that. She had 3 boys. And with 4 boys, she felt life couldn’t get any better… until she admitted to me in the hospital on boy #4, “Now you need a girl.” Nana was there my whole life. She was at every single school function. She was at every single birthday party. She was at every single dance recital and swim meet. She would go on vacation with us. Quite simply put… Nana didn’t want to miss a thing. Not one single thing. It was the moments she loved and lived for… and she took them all in, all the way through her 89 years.

Thursday was when it really hit me, that this moment… life repeating itself in so many ways. William swam his first lap in the same pool I swam my first lap in. I’ll never forget that moment either — over 25 years ago. Two women guided me down the pool that day on the pool deck, right beside me — my mother and my Nana. They were there, so close to the edge… there if I needed them, to jump in at any second. And on Thursday, that was me and my mother for William. My Nana, she was the one missing, and I felt this sudden need to call her and gush about my William. I was sad… I was… but then I thought about the moments of life and in life. And I was glad that I remembered that moment of Nana and my mother walking down the pool with me on my first lap. I knew… that somewhere, somehow, my Nana was watching William make his first lap. She was smiling and clapping and just in awe… I just know.

It was a moment on Thursday. A moment in time. A moment that brought many other moments to me. Life repeating itself in the most wonderful ways.

There are moments… was last modified: August 8th, 2009 by Audrey McClelland
SHOWHIDE Comments (15)
  1. Audrey, such a touching story. I feel joy and sorrow for you at the same time. My grandma passed 15 years ago and I still miss her so much and the thoughts of her bring a smile and tears. You are very lucky to be able to have had her as long as you did and it is so wonderful that she can be there in spirit as wiliam reaches this milestone. Another top swimmer.

  2. the next michael phelps huh? just keep him away from that reefer.

    a lovely tribute to your grandmother.

  3. Beautiful Story, Your Nana sounds like she was a wonderful woman. A great part of your life. My Grandmother was such a strong woman and a huge part of my life and has been gone for 21 years. I think of her often. I strive to be like her.
    Your Son!!! Super Swimmer.. That is wonderful! Congrats to him.
    Thank you for sharing this with us your blogger friends

  4. Such a beautifully written post, Audrey. I can just picture William taking that first lap, with his proud mama looking on. It brought tears to my eyes as I thought of my Leah, who is just learning to swim as well.

    Your Nana sounds like an amazing woman. What a blessing and beautiful memories to cherish! Thank you for sharing your “moment”.

  5. Audrey now I’m crying reading this post. I’m so proud of William swimming that first lap. And inspired that Kenzie will be able to swim just as soon as she doesn’t mind putting her head under water! You were so luck y to have a Nana in your life growing up. I never really had that type of relationship, but I think my kids will have it with my Parents and I am so thankful to them for being able to be there with their grandchildren. Keep up the beautiful inspiring posts.xoxo

  6. That is such an amazing post. William will one day watch his own child swim in that pool and remember you standing by the side cheering him on. The c ircle of life. beautiful.

  7. Beautiful, Audrey – and your Nana will always be with you and your family. I truly believe that. And it’s what helps me get through those moments where I’m like, “Oh, I wish my dad could see Laurel do this!”

    So amazing for William too! Laurel has started asking for swim lessons — clearly, these two are meant to hang out some time!

    xoxox Christine

  8. Perfect. I think of my parents every day and when there is a “moment” like this, it’s even more special. Congrats to your son for his big swimming day and cheers to your Nana! I’m sure she’s watching every little thing….

  9. Dear Audrey… What a magnificent moment and memory. I know the love you have for Nana and I know all the love she has for you and your boys. I feel it every single day. She lives in you. She lives with you. Nana is still a strong, powerful, LOVING force in your life and she always will be. Tears of joy stream down my face right now that you have experienced this love and that you can pass it on to your boys. They will know Nana like you do. I love you, Mom

  10. Audrey, that was really beautiful. Tears are making my eyes swim as I remember my father, who passed just one year ago. He was much the same for me as your Nana. We were so alike, and he was the one in my family who couldn’t stand to miss anything–and loved to pass on all the news and highlights.
    Congratulations on your newly-minted swimmer! My 5yo just managed this (difficult for him) milestone, too. A whole new world of adventure is now opening to them!

  11. Audrey,
    Thanks for putting in writing your wonderful memories of Nana. For me, she was what kept me on the straight and narrow throughout my life. I made many many decisions based on what my Mother (Nana) would think. Nana was and is a powerful force in our lives and she will continue to be so forever.
    I love you
    Dad

  12. I love this, so much. I know that she is so proud of you, every inch, every single thing you do, each and every day. Your day watching William, what a gift! You know my boys are afraid of the water too, so I can totally relate. What a day!

There are moments… was last modified: August 8th, 2009 by Audrey McClelland