My grandmother called the other night around 6PM. She could hear a little bit of chaos in the back, so she asked if she called “during dinner.”
I explained it was just the boys racing back and forth in the kitchen and that I was the only one eating dinner.
She honestly sounded surprised when she asked, “Alone?”
Ahh… my grandmother worried about me eating alone. I smiled and told her that the boys had already eaten, Matt was working out and that I was just eating dinner while they were playing (and occupied).
She then asked the question, “Standing or sitting?”
“Standing,” I said.
She laughed. “I guess that’s how you mothers have to do it now! When there’s time, there’s time.”
After I got off the phone with my grandmother, it immediately dawned on me why she was so interested and surprised about the boys being done with dinner, Matt working out and then me eating alone.
All through my mother’s childhood they ate dinner together. As a matter of fact, throughout my childhood we ate dinner together. We would all sit and eat. We’d laugh. We’d re-tell stories of the day. And my parents would talk about their day at work, as much as Jane and I used to loathe these conversations (because they didn’t involve us!).
In my house right now, that’s missing.
Dinnertime has become about “survival” some nights. Everyone wants something else. William usually wants peanut butter and jelly. Alexander wants chicken fingers. Benjamin wants grilled cheese. Henry is pretty easy – he eats whatever I give him. It’s just easier to get the boys “done” by the time it gets to me. With them being so young, I’m usually on my hands and knees afterward cleaning up a yucky hodge-podge of food mess.
But when I got off the phone with my grandmother, it really got me thinking. We should be eating together every single night. When we go out to dinner, the boys are great at the table together. We play tic-tac-toe. We see what kinds of letters and shapes the older boys can make. We laugh when William tells us about his day at preschool and tattles on Alexander for something he did that day. I don’t know why I let dinnertime at home get so different.
So last night we ate together. A party of 6 around our kitchen table. William and Alexander in “big boy” chairs. Benjamin in his booster. And Henry in his high chair. It was nice. We all had different meals, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that we were together. All 6 of us. It was special.
My grandmother will never know how important our conversation was Sunday night. I’ve always known the importance of sitting down together and eating as a family, but I kept letting the ages of the boys get in the way of that. As I was thinking last night, how long would I have let it go? I want the boys to get used to this… and never know a time without it. As “hokey” as this may sound, I want to instill this in them for their own families someday.
Thank you, Grandma. You awakened me. And for that, I will always be grateful.
Now… come over for dinner! 🙂
Disclosure: This blog post is sponsored by Healthy Choice. Please visit http://www.spokespersonwanted.com for more information on Healthy Choice and to print a free $1 off coupon.
Oh, Audrey… my mom was a stickler for eating together at 5:30 each evening. I knew no other way. Even as my brothers and I got older and had lots of activities and things to do, my mom insisted on that nightly gathering at the dinner table. I really did love it. (Well, being the only girl, I didn’t love setting the table, clearing the table and helping with the dishes while my brothers got going on important things like playing, relaxing or homework. Then, as I came of age in the 60’s, I realized that I wasn’t alone in my thinking of these male/female “roles.” But, ultimately, it shaped who I am today!!) But those dinners… filled with talk of women’s lib, the Vietnam War, mini-skirts, pierced ears, colleges… I will never forget.
Thanks, Mom!!
That was a beautiful post 🙂 Family is just so important, and I think that families that eat together, well, they just have a special bond!
It’s tough, isn’t it, especially as the kids get older and soccer practice, baseball practice, music lessons are all scheduled at the dinner hour. This drives me nuts because I really believe in having dinner together. We actually do have dinner together more than not. And usually we are starving, waiting for my hard-working hubby to get home so we can all sit down together. Then the TV goes off, the toys are put away, and hopefully we can all talk about our days and enjoy the meal. That’s the way I grew up, and I can’t imagine not doing it.
We make an effort to have dinner either at the table so we can talk, or together watching a movie. We don’t have my son every day, so when we do have him, we be sure to connect. Even watching a movie and eating allows us to bond as a family, which is what sitting together at dinner is all about.
I am so glad you posted this. I have to say, that when watching your healthy choice videos, this part bothered me a bit. You were saying, “this is how busy moms do dinner.” But I have 4 children too (ages 1-7). I’m busy, but we sit down at the table with the tv off every night (Mon-Fri) for dinner. We eat different things because I have some picky eaters, but we all eat together. I could totally see popping a healthy choice into the microwave for myself while making a PB and J (of course!) for the kids. But we’d all sit down together for dinner time. It’s not easy but eating is the only thing that ALL of us do! It’s good for little ones to see mom & dad eating different things, using good manners at the table, and sharing our day with one another. Thanks for this post!
What a sweet conversation that was with your grandmother 🙂
I only have one baby, and I find finding time to eat is a feat in itself.
Now that we have a student with us for the summer, he hangs out with the baby so I can cook supper. This way, Hubby, The Student, and I can eat at the dinner table together while Little One sits in her bouncy chair watching us 🙂
Does your grandmother read your blog? If not, then you should write her a note to tell her what her conversation meant to you. And, later, tell your boys all about her so they can thank her andbe thankful for her. Grandmothers are the best!
I also have four young children (all girls!) and we sit down every night together. We’re in the habit and just make it happen. I’ve found that by being really organized I can put together a healthy meal in less than 30 min and the girls don’t know any different. Once you start doing it nightly it really isn’t too much of a chore and our “conversations” are sometimes hysterical. We all go around the table and tell our favorite thing that happened that day.