The accidental therapist

I honestly never knew how many people struggled in their relationships until my own separation became public knowledge.

Since then, it’s like I’ve been walking around with a sign that says, “Got Relationship Issues?”

Don’t get me wrong – it has been extremely therapeutic for me, too, this new role I’ve taken on as an accidental therapist.

It’s just that when you think you’re alone in feeling the things you feel – before, during or after the break-up of your marriage – it’s a bit jarring to come to find out that you’ve been in good company all along. (Although “good” may be the wrong word choice here.)

I’ve cried alongside some of the people in this company, hearing their stories and, if not sharing, at least understanding their pain. I’ve heard confessions about which I’ve had to try hard to hide my shock. I’ve talked to people whose stories are, like, exact carbon copies of mine (in a non-creepy, non-Single White Female kind of way). I’ve been encouraged by stories with happy endings.

I’ve learned from people. More than I ever thought I would.

I appreciate the trust people have put in me. Getting separated certainly doesn’t make me an expert in giving relationship advice, but it apparently makes me accessible to those looking to reach out, to find someone else who can relate in some way, shape or form.

There’s comfort in knowing you’re in good company – even if finding the “good” part takes a while.

The accidental therapist was last modified: March 15th, 2010 by Jane Couto Govednik
SHOWHIDE Comments (8)
  1. Accessibility AND vulnerability – knowing you’ve gone through or are going through something similar creates an instant bond that allows people to open up without fear of being judged harshly. Thanks for listening to them, for HEARING them, because that’s what people in pain want most: to know that someone else acknowledges what happened to them.

  2. I love this post! You’re right… you have been a magnet lately! LOL! But I think – in this world – we all help each other out.
    xo
    Audrey

  3. So true. And the good thing is that by talking to others, we know we’re not alone. Even though everyone has their own problems and circumstances, we all have ‘stuff’ to go through. At the time, it doesn’t make any sense, but one day, it will. And through all this you grow and discover secret strengths you never knew you had. You learn the good and bad about people, and which ones really matter. It’s all part of the journey. Good luck with yours.

  4. Janie… Sincerity, caring and courage are the keys to helping yourself … and, in turn, helping others. The presence of these gifts is powerful. Always give them and always receive them. I love you…
    Mom

  5. You continue to be in our thoughts – we’re sending lots of hugs, kisses and positive vibes your way 🙂

  6. Aww, how true this all is. It’s wonderful that you’ve been able to give (and receive) help in that way. A burden is always a bit lighter when you know it’s shared by someone else as well.

  7. Being of help to others is a great way of helping yourself. Hugs. I’ve been “in and out” of your blog for the longest time but please know that I am thinking of you.

The accidental therapist was last modified: March 15th, 2010 by Jane Couto Govednik