Two years ago today — at this very minute (7:40am) — I was holding this beautiful little boy whom we named Benjamin Barry David, or as I like to call him, my “to-be.”

I found out I was pregnant with Benjamin 4 months after I had a miscarriage. For 4 months straight, I hoped and prayed and dreamed for a baby to come to us, and I called that baby my “to-be” because I knew this baby who was “to-be” would never have been if I hadn’t experienced and gone through my miscarriage. I needed this baby, more than anything in this world.

We knew Benjamin was to-be a BOY! Our 3rd son. But what we didn’t know… what no parents knows until they have actually met and seen and touched and hugged and kissed their child, is just how special and warm and funny and delightful and entertaining this baby boy Benjamin truly was “to-be.”

Here we are. Two years later.

Benjamin – being 3rd in line of 4 boys – has carved his own little path. He’s full of joy. He’s happy as can be. When he smiles, the room lights up. And he’s a jokster… even this morning when we were getting all the boys ready to come downstairs, he tapped Alex on his back and then hid under the covers, trying to blame William. The non-stopness of my life? It’s from these 4 little men.

As I was laying in bed last night, I was thinking about Benjamin. He’s an amazingly easy child. He loves donuts. His 2 yellow blankies. Bottles, not sippy cups. He loves to take his own diaper off for a laugh. He loves to run and jump (oh, he loves to jump – it’s already causing grays) and roll and dance. He now takes sticks from the yard and pretends they are light sabers (I guess you can say he’s been initiated into the brotherhood.) He hates to drink anything but milk and apple juice. Loves bananas and Cheerios and pudding cups and chocolate (anything chocolate!). Dora and Diego are his best friends. And he loves to sit at the computer and try to play Nick Jr. and his brothers’ Webkinz at my parents’ house.

My favorite time of the day is 6:30am. The house is completely quiet, everyone is sleeping… but I know at any second I will hear the words that I used to crave to hear from that bedroom, “Mommy! Mommy! I UP!” And that will be repeated over and over and over again until I go get him. It’s a morning ritual, one that I absolutely love and adore.

So Benjamin, on this day – April 4th, 2009 – your 2nd Birthday, I want to tell you that I love you more than anything in the world. You have enhanced my life more than you will ever know. You make me smile and laugh and love every single second of the day. And I am so proud of you, for everything you do… but most of all because you chose me to be your mommy! For that I am forever grateful and honored.

Today is your day! We’ll have your maple-frosted donuts and unlimited bottles. We’ll bake a cake with your favorite yellow mix and chocolate icing. I have potato chips with dip and cheese for grilled cheese sandwiches. All your favorites. And we’ll do whatever it is YOU want to do today.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy.

(I love you in the whole wide world and crazy and very much.)