CONFESSION: I’ve been sleeping with 3 guys

Don’t judge me, please.

It’s not as easy as it sounds.

Take last night, for example.  We all settled into bed together.  Yes, together.  I’ve been thinking of getting a king size bed for these special nights, but the queen size must do for the time being.  I looked at the clock.  It was 9:30 pm.  By 10:00, things were getting “interesting.”

One of the guys was already asleep.  Don’t feel badly for me… because it was going to be a l-o-n-g night anyway, so one down didn’t present any particular problem.  Well, there was one slight problem.  He tosses and turns and thrashes about with his long arms.  More than once, I took a fist to my face.  But… accidents do happen.

The second guy was wide awake, but he had developed a rather untimely cough.  And, oh yeah… sneezing was part of this new development.  In my face.  You know those  C.S.I. shows, where bodily things are magnified by, like, a ga-zillion?  This is what I imagined.  All those live little bacteria/virus things rushing into each orifice and racing to fight each antibody that my body holds.  Oh, I did get up to get him water.  Cough medicine.  And I even rubbed vapo-rub on his chest.  For hours.  I remember looking at my clock to see these numbers staring at me:  2:36.  That would be “am.”

By 3:00 am, I had .5 inches of blanket.  My long-sleeved t-shirt was wrapped around my armpits.  My legs were coiled into each other.  My feet were numb.  My pillow was hanging onto the bed by a thread.  And just when the thrashing of Guy #1 stopped and the contagion of Guy #2 ceased, and I was finally this close to dreamland… Guy #3 let out the longest, loudest, robust snore ever to leave a man’s lips.

I begged, “HONEY.  PLEASE.  NO.”

He answered, “Wha… wha… was I snoring?”

“YESSSS.  PLEASE.  NO,” I begged again.

“Are the little guys sleeping?”  he asked sleepily, but genuinely concerned.  “What time is it?”

“Yes.  3:10,” I whispered.

Oh, don’t feel badly that my husband refers to my other guys as “little.”  One guy is 3 years old and the other guy is 4.  And I’ve been sleeping with them because they’ve been spending time with us while Audrey is at SXSW… and her husband has the 2 littlest guys.

And you know what?  I wouldn’t trade this precious snuggle time for all the sleep (and blankets and non-contagion) in the entire world!

(But next purchase?  Yes.  King size bed!  After all… we do have 9 grandchildren!)

CONFESSION: I’ve been sleeping with 3 guys was last modified: February 9th, 2010 by Sharon Couto
SHOWHIDE Comments (12)
  1. Thank goodness your 4 legged grandchildren don’t also try to sleep with you!

    Perhaps you could borrow Jane’s Snuggie for those blanketless nights? 🙂

  2. I knew you were talking about the kids I is smart like that.
    I love sleeping with the kids – they wake up happy to see me – they are warm and cuddly- even with the kicking and the 4 year old laying vertical and me getting an inch of bed – the smiling face in the morning – priceless

  3. This sounds like my bed every morning! Go to bed with just the two of us and by sunrise there is a 2 year old and 4 year old and sometimes two bernese mountain dogs. You know it’s time for a king size when your sneaking into your son’s twin bed to get some shut eye!

  4. What a good wife/grandma! I’m assuming the long arms belong to guy #3? + none of those bigger guys will ever admit to snoring. Ask me. I know.

    Aaahhh, vapo-rub, Mommy’s great cure-all. Always works.

    Hope all of you get a better sleep tonight.

  5. I thought you were talking about your granddogs at first, and I was thinking that’d really be crowded! But I know how much space little guys can take up in a bed… it’s amazing how my 2 year old can cover an entire queen bed with his little body.
    It sounds like such a sweet time, despite the lack of sleep from all those guys you have around.;)

  6. Ahhh, Sharon, you sly lady, you. Three men and all of them among the most handsome in the land! Have fun with your boys!

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CONFESSION: I’ve been sleeping with 3 guys was last modified: February 9th, 2010 by Sharon Couto