Don’t judge me, please.
It’s not as easy as it sounds.
Take last night, for example. We all settled into bed together. Yes, together. I’ve been thinking of getting a king size bed for these special nights, but the queen size must do for the time being. I looked at the clock. It was 9:30 pm. By 10:00, things were getting “interesting.”
One of the guys was already asleep. Don’t feel badly for me… because it was going to be a l-o-n-g night anyway, so one down didn’t present any particular problem. Well, there was one slight problem. He tosses and turns and thrashes about with his long arms. More than once, I took a fist to my face. But… accidents do happen.
The second guy was wide awake, but he had developed a rather untimely cough. And, oh yeah… sneezing was part of this new development. In my face. You know those C.S.I. shows, where bodily things are magnified by, like, a ga-zillion? This is what I imagined. All those live little bacteria/virus things rushing into each orifice and racing to fight each antibody that my body holds. Oh, I did get up to get him water. Cough medicine. And I even rubbed vapo-rub on his chest. For hours. I remember looking at my clock to see these numbers staring at me: 2:36. That would be “am.”
By 3:00 am, I had .5 inches of blanket. My long-sleeved t-shirt was wrapped around my armpits. My legs were coiled into each other. My feet were numb. My pillow was hanging onto the bed by a thread. And just when the thrashing of Guy #1 stopped and the contagion of Guy #2 ceased, and I was finally this close to dreamland… Guy #3 let out the longest, loudest, robust snore ever to leave a man’s lips.
I begged, “HONEY. PLEASE. NO.”
He answered, “Wha… wha… was I snoring?”
“YESSSS. PLEASE. NO,” I begged again.
“Are the little guys sleeping?” he asked sleepily, but genuinely concerned. “What time is it?”
“Yes. 3:10,” I whispered.
Oh, don’t feel badly that my husband refers to my other guys as “little.” One guy is 3 years old and the other guy is 4. And I’ve been sleeping with them because they’ve been spending time with us while Audrey is at SXSW… and her husband has the 2 littlest guys.
And you know what? I wouldn’t trade this precious snuggle time for all the sleep (and blankets and non-contagion) in the entire world!
(But next purchase? Yes. King size bed! After all… we do have 9 grandchildren!)