A personal blog is where you share personal stuff, right?

Reading over my most recent posts, I realize that I haven’t gotten very personal on my blog lately, even though this is, in fact, my personal blog.

Most of my writing is about fun, light-hearted stuff, which is great because there are a lot of fun, light-hearted things going on in my life right now.

But there is also something that is not, and that is what I have been avoiding talking about. But little by little, people are starting to broach a certain subject with me. They heard from so-and-so about this-and-that, or they wonder why I haven’t talked about a certain aspect of my life all that much.

Of course, my family already knows, as well as my inner circle of friends… but now that circle is slowly expanding and I feel like I want to be a bit more in control of it. In other words, it’s already out there and there’s nothing to hide. So I suppose this revelation will speed up the expansion of the circle even quicker, but it’s inevitable anyway: I am separated and will be getting a divorce.

It is sad and painful and unfortunate and trying and everything else that a divorce just is. It is also private, and I have been very appreciative of friends and family who have been incredibly supportive, but who also respect that there are times I just don’t want to talk about it. (Except Audrey. She wants to me to be spilling my innermost thoughts to her at every moment of every day. But that’s just who my sister is and I love her for it… even if I won’t entertain all her requests for details.)

Our house is on the market (wanna buy it?) We are sharing custody of the dogs (as you can imagine, it’s excruciatingly hard not seeing them every single day). I am living with my parents (I am so grateful for such loving, supportive parents – and I must say, having my laundry done for me again is quite nice).

Joking aside, though, I know the journey to feeling OK again will be long and difficult for both of us. This will definitely not become a divorce blog, but since it is my personal blog, I am sharing this very personal aspect of my life with you. Thank you for letting me.

A personal blog is where you share personal stuff, right? was last modified: March 15th, 2010 by Jane Couto Govednik
SHOWHIDE Comments (45)
  1. Jane,
    I am so proud of you for posting this personal piece of you. You know I give A-Z when it comes to my feelings… and I love that I have to pry stuff out of you. I love you… I just want you to know that.
    xoxo
    Audrey

  2. I love that your sharing because there will always be people who can relate and need support as well. And like I always say, you only have one life to live so you should do what it takes to be happy.

    (((HUGS)))

  3. I’m so proud of you for this post, you are so incredibly brave. I hurt for you as I read this, I have chills that won’t go away. But I know that you deserve SO much happiness and deserve all the joy in the world. You will find it, and I am honored to know you and love you along this journey.

    xoxo
    `Ari

  4. My beautiful Janie… You are the strongest and most vibrant and most courageous and wise woman I know, and I know with my heart and soul that your strength and vibrancy and courage and wisdom will continue to guide you through this time and forever… and oh, your laundry is done!
    Love you, Mom

  5. Jane – thanks for sharing. I’m sorry you are going through this — you deserve complete happiness!

    Hugs – Jodi

  6. Wow, so glad you felt like you could share that with your bloggy friends. Although I don’t know you or your situation, I can tell that you’re a very strong and resilient person with a positive outlook on life. And I can also tell you have an extremely supporting family, which is so awesome in trying times. I’m sorry about your marriage, but I’m sure you’re going to get through this new chapter in your life and come out on top! Hugs!

  7. Jane I’m so sorry that you are going through a difficult time. You are such an amazing, strong woman, and I admire you very much. Naturally I want to respect your privacy, but if you ever need anything at all I hope you know that there are so many women who will be there for you in a heartbeat, including me. You deserve to be the happiest version of yourself possible, and I know you realize that each step forward that you take is one step closer to being that person. Thank you so much for sharing – you never know who might have needed to read this, or who else you might be helping.
    xoxo,

    Erika

  8. Blogging is hard. Putting yourself out there for all the world to read/hear/see. Unless, you share something really personal and feel as if there’s been a weight lifted off your shoulders. Then, people leave random comments of support and, I dunno, you start feeling a little better about, well, everything. Hope this helps. Good luck.

  9. Love you Janie…and always will no matter what. And…can I slide some of my laundry over there too!!!

  10. I think it takes a very strong person and a lot of courage to put something so very personal out there on a blog for the world to see. Kudos for doing it – I bet a part of you feels like a big load has been lifted from your shoulders.

    I wish you the best of luck as you move on and figure out the new life ahead of you. I can already tell you have an amazing support system.

  11. Jane thank you so much for sharing your life with us – the highlights and the tough patches. I’m feeling so very sad for you right now, but know that you are an incredible person and a magnet for fabulous things….. so I’m sure you have a bright path ahead in the future. Stay strong. And I really think by opening up and sharing with your readers – you will find support and perhaps serendipity along the way. xoxo col

  12. (((HUGS))) Jane! This took a lot of courage, and I’m with you all the way. I don’t talk about this a lot, but I was briefly married and divorced in my early 20s, so if you want to talk about it just let me know, hon.

  13. It’s hard, but you’ll get through it… in time. I completely understand why you want to keep it private, but sometimes it is nice to share with people that have been there!

    You made the first step in talking about it, which means you are one step closer to feeling better about the whole thing! You seem like a strong woman, so I know you’ll do great with the whole thing!

  14. Miss Jane, whatever you do or don’t want to share, whatever you are or aren’t going through, you are completely amazing and you have so many people who know it and are there for you 100%.

    Being public about something so personal and difficult is tremendously brave and just adds to what an awe-inspiring person you are. You will get through this and we are all there to help you in whatever way we can!

    (I’m glad Sharon’s helping with the laundry side of things though. I always forget to switch the loads, myself.)

    Hugs and love!

    xoxo,
    S

  15. Jane, I’ve been following this site for several months, and one of the reasons I enjoy it so much is the way the love your family shares shines through every post and every picture. You are a good woman with a good heart and a lot of good people who love you. I know that doesn’t take away the pain of what you’re experiencing right now, but the healing will come.

  16. Wow, Jane… you have amazing strength and courage. You really put yourself out there, and I truly admire that. I am so sorry you are going through this, but please know that I will be praying for you!

  17. Jane –

    My heart goes out to you and want to let you know that I will be praying for you. This is a very personal thing to go through and sharing it is not easy. It’s a blessing that you have such a wonderful family that loves and support you.

    I understand you have great support around you but I want you to know you can contact me anytime if you ever want to talk.

  18. Jane, I’m so incredibly sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I will be thinking about you and hoping that everything goes well. But I agree with everyone else – you are incredibly brave and wonderful (as is your family!) and so it’s easy to have faith that you will be just fine in time. (One day at a time with these things, right?)

  19. Jane,

    As always, Patrick, Annabelle, Claire and I are sending you our love and lots of hugs and kisses. We think of you often and are so blessed, grateful and honored that you shared your news with us. We love having you as a friend and are always here for you. Call anytime and of course we’d love to get together soon so you can meet Baby Claire and we can hug you in person!

    Love, Amanda

  20. Jane big ((((hugs))) to you.

    I’m so sorry, but you are blessed to have such a loving and caring family to help you through this rough time.

  21. Jane, my heart goes out to you – transitions of any kind are tough and you are going through one of the most challenging ones. I have no doubt, though, that your lively spirit will carry you through to the other side.

    But on the (inevitable) days when you may not be feeling so up, know that you have so many people around you for support – we’re here if you need us!

    Virtual hugs til I next see you in person, Christine

  22. Jane, you are very, very brave for sharing this part of your life. These types of situations are never, ever easy but you will make it through this difficult time. I am truly sorry about your situation. Hugs and prayers coming your way today…

  23. Jane – It took an incredible amount of strength to share your story, I’m not sure that I would’ve been able to, if in the same situation. Just remember that you have a wonderful support system in your amazing family and friends … Best to you as you continue your search for your happy … it’s out there. Keep smiling and remember how strong you truly are.

  24. I love you, Jane, and I am so sorry you are hurting right now. I too have a personal blog that doesn’t often get personal so I understand how hard that can be. I am praying for you and here for you in whatever capacity you need me. I am so glad you have your family to support you!

  25. I am sorry to hear you are going through a tough time right now. I am always here if you need anything–would love to meet up for dinner soon and have some laughs. Take care girl.

  26. Jane, I’m just now catching up after having been out of town for 10 days and I’m so sorry to hear this! Divorce is hard and I’m glad you are talking about it and that you have the support of family and friends. My husband’s sister and one of my best friends are going through painful divorces right now and I’m trying to be the best support I can for them. I’m praying for you, girl and just adore you.

  27. Jane: This is my first time to your blog and I feel for you. I started my blog last year as a result of being served divorce papers during my 2yo twins nap. I’ve written alot about the ups & downs over this last year. We are still not officially divorced. He moved to Hungary last July, so progress has been slow with him out of the country. There are ups and downs and loops and tidal waves. I liken it to white water rafting, not all rough water, but it can take you by surprise at any moment. What’s been surprising is the number of readers that have reached out to me sharing their stories and their pain. I continued to write about my process because of them. So, I hope you find support in this community however you choose to find it. Stay strong. Wishing you the best! Amy

  28. I’m very sorry for the pain you are going through. It sounds like you have a wonderful support group in your loving family, and I hope this will make it a bit easier for you.

    Good luck with your new writing career. Just as one door closes…….

  29. Thinking of you always, Jane 🙂 I think it’s wonderful that you are able to express yourself via the blog. Hugs xo

  30. Janie,
    You are going through a real hard time right now and it is going to take time. You have to grieve….and there is no time table on that. You did something very healing by posting your most private feelings to all of us. Everyone wants you to be OK again cuz they love u. And your lucky to have the best family in the world……best family I ever met. I wish you strength…..and yes things will be OK one day. You take care of yourself/16 miles ia a longgggg run….See u soon!
    Dee

  31. Hi Jane,
    I don’t have a blog but I have been reading yours for awhile. I too am living with my parents as I am separated and going through a divorce. It has been so hard but like you I like that my laundry is done daily.:)
    I know some of the emotions that you’re dealing with.
    Kim

  32. I’m coming to this a little late (was hopping on here to see if you had any Marathon news! I was thinking of you yesterday), and made my way to this post. I’m so sorry for your news and just want to send my support to you. You seem like such a positive and caring person, I’m sorry this is happening to you.

  33. Jane, i am sorry i missed this. Audrey mentioned to me on the trip and I wish i could have been here to support you. I missed the post. If you need anything, please let me know

    trisha

  34. Hey Jane, I am so sorry for all this. Ugh. I have been getting a little personal on my blog lately, since I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety. For awhile I was afraid my readers would be sick of hearing about it – but when I read other people’s blogs, like yours, I really want to know what they’re feeling, even if it’s just to be sympathetic, empathetic, or whatever. It’s truly a gift to your readers to leat them bear your burdens with you. So let your community be a really big shoulder to lean on if you need it! We’re here for ya.

A personal blog is where you share personal stuff, right? was last modified: March 15th, 2010 by Jane Couto Govednik