As I was running earlier today, I found myself approaching a group of 5 teenaged boys (I’d guess they were in the 13-14 year old range) who were standing on the sidewalk in my town. They were talking and laughing, as one would expect teenaged boys to do as they headed home from school on a crisp winter afternoon. I kind-of thought they would move a bit… you know, spread out or form more of a single line to let me pass. They didn’t.
Now, let me just say here… I taught high-school aged kids for 30 years, and I recognized immediately that these boys were neither defiant nor mischievous. They were just oblivious. Oblivious to the world. I am not saying that this is OK, by the way. I think that at least one of the five should have motioned to the others to move aside when they saw me (or anyone else) approaching. But it was not the time, the place or my inclination to go into lecture mode on manners and cordiality.
So I hopped from the sidewalk onto the street and began to pass them. That’s when I smelled it. Cigarette smoke. Like that old saying, these kids were smoking like chimneys. That little slice of sidewalk so reeked of smoke that I could barely pass without choking. Now I don’t know about where you live, but New England has become a sort-of clean zone of NO SMOKING. Of course we have our laws about no smoking in public places, and sidewalks are exempt. But still, I was shocked. I hadn’t seen a group of teenagers openly smoking in public in, well… years.
So many thoughts raced through my mind. Do their parents know they smoke? I mean, here they were in the middle of town, just puffing away. Do they know the dangers of smoking? That question is rhetorical, because how could they not know. Do they think they look cool? They didn’t. They looked rather silly and goofy in this grand experiment they were conducting.
As I hopped back onto the sidewalk a few paces ahead, I saw an elderly man struggling to get out of a car. A younger woman was helping with his wheelchair and oxygen tank. I stopped to help. The older man thanked me profusely… with his raspy voice. The voice of a smoker (hopefully, former smoker). I hoped that this man in his wheelchair with his oxygen tank and aide may have a thing or two to say to the boys…
I then sucked in a long, cool breath of clean air and went on my way.
But I can’t seem to shake the image of those young boys with their cigarettes… what were they thinking? And are there enough laws to protect us from ourselves?
When I was in high school, there was a smoking section that was set aside outside for the smokers. I always thought it was the dumbest thing that people actually thought they were cool when they smoked. Of course, both of my parents smoke and even after watching both of my grandparents (my mother’s parents) die from lung cancer, they refuse to quit. It saddens me.
This is very timely posting, Sharon. We spent the weekend with my family and my parents don’t smoke much in front of my kids…they usually go outside to do it so if the kids see them, it’s because we’re all outside together. I overheard my kids playing in the other room a few minutes ago and my daughter said, “Look, I’m smoking!” and laughed. I called her in and asked what she said and she repeated it which lead to a conversation about the dangers of smoking. A difficult conversation to have with a five year old who adores her grandmother so much.
Your use of “oblivious” resonated with me. Isn’t it funny how kids, teenagers don’t even seem to see people older than themselves? It’s like we’re in some alternate, parallel universe. We don’t exist, we’re not people.
a better lesson would to have let them see the man w/ the oxygen tank so they can see what can happen
an ex friend started smoking when her father was in the hospital getting his larynx removed from cancer.
How sad. Hopefully they will grow out of it and realize that smoking doesn’t make them look cool (or smell cool, ick!) and has repurcussions.
As a former teacher, do you find it so hard to not reprimand kids? I know that sometimes when I’m at the grocery store and see middle school kids seriously misbehaving, I have to stop myself from correcting them. Sometimes I can’t quite stop myself, either.
That certainly is sad, and how interesting you ran into both the group of teens and the man with the oxygen tank at the same time. Like you, I rarely see people standing around smoking like that these days (which really makes such a difference for everyone else sharing the public spaces with them). But so sad that these boys are so young and “oblivious” – especially to the consequences of what they’re doing to themselves. After having a grandfather die of emphysema and an aunt of lung cancer, this is the type of thing that really hits home for me too.
My Dad was a heavy smoker all his life and had a heart attack (in the auditorium during a friend’s graduation from college) when he was 49. I was a freshman in college, 19.
Did he stop smoking? No, couldn’t do it.
My oldest friend from first grade died at 42 six years ago from mouth cancer. Her mouth was eaten away. She saw a group of girls smoking and wanted to tell them “see what happens.” My friend said to her, “Would you have stopped if someone told you what can happen?”