It occured to me recently that many friends and acquaintances around my age have very important, exciting dates to look forward to - namely, weddings or pregnancy due dates.

It’s an odd feeling, around all of this, to have my own divorce date now set in stone.

The specifics of my separation and divorce are known to a handful of people, just as I like it. Unlike my sister (love you, Audrey!), I tend to reflect inward through difficult periods and not share too much.

Just over a year ago, I wrote a post in which I reflected on the 10 years since graduating high school. One of the passages was:

Regrets? I don’t believe in them. Sure, sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if I had done something differently. But there is no other place I would rather be in my life right now, so somehow everything turned out as it was supposed to.

It’s funny; even though I am at a completely different place at this moment, a year later, from where I was then, I can still say the same about my life now.

This year has certainly had its lows so far, but it has had many, many highs, as well. I have learned a lot about myself, and I have a lot to look forward to… including, of course, celebrating the weddings of many friends and the births of other friends’ babies!

My little nephew Henry, who has grown from this tiny little thing, in his Auntie Janie’s arms…

into a happy, joyous bundle of love…

turns one year old today.

It seems like just yesterday I was tweeting about and excitedly announcing his arrival.

But yesterday I was actually at the 140 Characters Conference in NYC with Audrey, where the organizer Jeff Pulver described Twitter (and really, this can be extended to blogs, too) as “postcards to the future” - what you write in those 140 characters is your legacy. Imagine your children, your nieces and nephews, gaining insight into what you were thinking at a moment in time 5, 10, 15 years prior.

My little Henna Wenna, Happy 1st Birthday. Consider this one of my postcards to you in the future… I love you so very much, and have loved you since the moment I knew you were growing inside of your Mommy. I don’t have any human kids of my own, so I can’t speak to the level of love that a mother feels toward a child, but know that this Auntie of yours loves you so deeply that it is hard to describe in mere words. You are a little miracle who I am lucky to love.

xxoo,
Auntie Janie

Last Tuesday I spent the day in New York City with my friend Sarah. We hadn’t seen each other since the photo shoot for the Hot Blogger Calendar back in October (OCTOBER! It had been that long!?), so we were long overdue for some quality time together. (And really, who needs an excuse to meet in the city for the day?)

I fully intended on taking a lot of pictures. I love NYC in the beginning of summer. The days of having to bundle up to walk around are long gone, but it’s not too hot yet that you want to stop in every air conditioned store just to get some relief from the heat. It’s the perfect time to explore. To take in the late-Spring beauty and greenness of the parks. To sit outside at a cafe for lunch and people-watch.

I wanted to capture all of this in photos. My camera was all charged. My memory card was empty.

And I took exactly two photos.

Actually, technically I only took one - the pizza shop right next door to the dorm where Audrey and I lived for 6 weeks, exactly 10 years ago - the summer of 1999. Many a midnight that summer Audrey and I would look at each other and say, “Want to get some pizza?” I’m not sure how we both managed to stay so thin those 6 weeks (actually, I’m quite sure… it was the gym we went to every day, a gym with mostly body builders… and us. One in particular large man was named “Forklift” - to this day this is the only name I know him by. Bodybuilders and us. Yeah… Audrey and I stuck to the treadmills).

Sarah took the other photo… of me, standing outside of the dorm.

I think my photo-taking intentions came to a halt earlier, when Sarah suggested we meet in Union Square. Don’t take this as me blaming her for my lack of picture-taking. Quite the opposite, really… instead, the location she happened to pick for us to meet allowed me so much reflection and nostalgia that I just didn’t feel the need to take out my camera. In the words of a pre-Jessica Simpson, pre-Jennifer Aniston, pre-womanizing John Mayer, I wanted to see the world with both my eyes.

I wanted to remember Union Square as I knew it 10 years ago… walking through it every day on my way to my class at NYU. The farmers’ market Audrey and I would visit each Saturday morning. The Sex and the City scene we saw being filmed there one day. Buying gossip magazines at the Barnes & Noble across the street, then sitting on the park benches and reading them together. The coffee shop (literally called The Coffee Shop) that we frequented on weekend mornings across from the park. The sushi place around the corner where I tried sushi for the very first time (with Forklift! True story). The cafe down the street where our suitemate Amy and I loved go for dinner on those warm summer nights.

I had never before had so much confidence in myself before that summer. I think it had to do with the fact that I truly felt independent for the first time.

Sure, it would have been nice, I guess, to be looking at more photos from last Tuesday right now… photos, taken 10 years later, to remind me of that wonderful summer.

But instead, with both my eyes, I was able to remember the wonderful moments that made up the summer of 1999… as well as enjoy my time in the moment with a fabulous friend, making new memories.

Last night my mom, dad, Audrey and I went out to dinner to celebrate Audrey’s 31st birthday. Yes, her birthday was a week earlier, on May 23, but it fell on Memorial Day weekend, and it was a pretty jam-packed weekend at that, so the birthday dinner was pushed to May 30.

It’s funny that Audrey wrote a post just the other day about the importance of sitting down to dinner as a family, and that it is a rare occurence for her nowadays (though something she is making into a ritual). Growing up, I don’t remember ever not sitting down for family dinners every night, even if it wasn’t around our dining room table at home. Audrey and I swam competitively, so sometimes we would all go out to dinner at a restaurant after practice… but it was always as a family, sitting down together, enjoying each others’ company and talking about our day.

So last night was like those days revisited. Those days before adulthood, before marriage, before kids. What did we talk about then? What was important in life at that time? School, friends, swimming… and, I’m sure, things that seemed so important at the time, but are all but distant memories now. What was discussed is much less important, of course, than the fact that we were together.

Now, as adults ourselves, Audrey and I certainly have much more “real life” stuff on our plates than we did back then. So it was so nice to be able to sit down with mom and dad for a quiet, relaxing adult dinner.

Usually when we’re together Audrey has at least one of her four little guys with her, so much of our time is spent fawning over, taking care of or keeping an eye out for them. What would a night without the little ones entail? What subjects would dominate the conversation?

Not surprisingly, I suppose, we kept coming back to four particular subjects - Audrey’s four little guys. The funny things William and Alexander say, the new words Benjamin is learning, little Henry’s attempts at walking.

Sure, we talked about other things, too, but the discussion would inevitably return to one of the infinite amount of things we love about those little men.

Last night’s dinner was so similar to all those family dinners during our youth in that we laughed, enjoyed each others’ company and talked about our lives… and yet so different in terms of what is important now in our lives versus what was important then.

I’ll take the now any day.

Audrey turned 31 on May 23, and I thought I would share 31 things about my beautiful big sister to celebrate her special day. Some of these things you may already know; others you may not. Enjoy!

1. She knows I’m a day late and a dollar short for everything - including her 31st birthday post - and yet she loves me anyway

2. She is a loving, caring, amazing mother and could not be any more adored by her 4 boys

3. She was an exceptional swimmer in her younger days, making First Team All State each year of high school, holding the Rhode Island state record in the 100 yard breaststroke for many years and qualifying for the Junior Olympics

4. She is very humble and would probably never even tell you about her many swimming accolades (that’s what sisters are for!)

5. She is a true romantic and believes in the power of love probably more than anyone I know

6. She will never pass up a good “love story” movie, and enjoys dragging taking her love-skeptic little sister to see these romantic comedies with her

7. She is one of the funniest people I know

8. She often makes me laugh at the most inappropriate moments

9. She is so beautiful on the outside, but even more beautiful on the inside

10. She is incredibly loyal, and would go to bat for anyone in her family or close circle of friends without a moment’s hesitation

11. She was a cheerleader for the Brown University men’s basketball team for a nanosecond as a Freshman in college

12. She met the man she would eventually marry and have her 4 boys with during her Junior year at Brown

13. She wrote and self-published a book, Preconception Plain & Simple, with our mom

14. She used the tips she researched in that book when she was trying to conceive her first child - and they worked, 4 times over!

15. She has more energy than anyone I have ever met

16. She is able to be a wonderful mother to 4 boys, 4 years old and under, be a fantastic wife, daughter, sister and friend, and run a successful business from home - and make it all look easy

17. She is the first person I go to for fashion and/or make-up advice (and I’m the last person she’d go to for advice in these areas)

18. She is the last person I go to for grammar advice (and I’m the first person she’d go to for advice in this area)

19. She originally wanted to move to Los Angeles after graduating from college, but ended up going to New York City instead, much to her family’s delight (with NYC being a 3-hour drive away versus a cross-country flight)

20. She now has more Twitter followers than me

21. She takes her coffee with cream, no sugar

22. She loves celebrity gossip

23. She likes her miso soup with no scallions

24. She recently tried to give up her DVR, but found it to be too hard to part with

25. She is there for me in a moment’s notice whenever I need her

26. She loves reading Danielle Steele, Jackie Collins and Barbara Taylor Bradford novels

27. She would pack enough clothing for a 2-week vacation if she was going somewhere for 2 nights

28. She has much more patience than I do

29. She is much better at keeping in touch with people than I am

30. She is self-assured and confident, but not at all egotistical or narcissistic

31. She is my hero

Audrey, I love you more than anything. Thank you for being my big sister - the best sister in the world, in my opinion!

One of the good things about living back at home with my parents right now is that since they live about a mile from Audrey and her family - and Audrey’s boys pretty much love nothing more than going over to Grandma and Pop-up’s house - I get to see my nephews (or at least some combination of the 4!) nearly every day.

And while I know that you usually notice how quickly kids grow when you don’t see them frequently, at times it seems that they’ll leave just the room only to come back a few minutes later looking completely different. Looking like kids, not little boys.

This happened for me yesterday with William, Audrey’s oldest, who will be 5 years old (5 YEARS OLD!?) in just 4 months. Audrey had to work on a few vlogs for 365 Days of Fashion Advice for Moms while her two youngest guys, Henry and Benjamin, were sleeping, so she brought Alex and William over to spend some time with Auntie Janie, Grandma and Pop-up.

When Alex and William come over, they love to play Webkinz on my parents’ computers. So when they came over they darted right into the computer room. I was in the family room doing some work, while my parents read the Sunday newspaper nearby, when William walked in to check on what we were up to. As I looked up from my laptop at William, I couldn’t believe my eyes. He looked so tall, so grown up… so much like a “big kid”… so different from that little baby boy I held in my arms for the first time just after he was born - a moment that does not seem so long ago.

It honestly made me tear up a little bit and I told him to come sit next to me on the couch. He came over and I took his little hand and told him, “William, do you know how much you’re loved by everyone in this room?”

He gave me his big, wide, light-up-the-room smile - the one that I know is going to break the hearts of many girls hearts when he gets older - and said, “No.” Ah, my stubborn little William - just like his Auntie Janie. But his smile gave away the fact that he knew exactly how loved he is.

So I went on, “The day you were born, we were all waiting for your Daddy to come into the waiting room and tell us your Mommy had had you. We couldn’t wait to meet you.”

And my dad chimed in, “When we found out you were born, we were so excited that we started screaming out loud.”

William took it all in for a moment, and then asked, “Well, didn’t you wake up all the other babies?”

You really can’t get anything past that kid.

I released William from the love fest around him, much to his relief, and soon afterward Audrey came by with her two younger guys. So there I was, lucky enough to spend some time with all 4 of Audrey’s boys at once, watching them play together and just be their adorable little selves.

As I like to do in most situations with my nieces and nephews (and, of course, my doggies, too), I took out my camera to capture the moment.

William gets a little camera shy, so I have to kind of trick him into letting me take his photo, getting him in a bit of a “stunned” mode:

Otherwise, this is all he’ll let me get:

Alex was busy eating chocolate pudding with whipped cream on top:

… And couldn’t quite understand why I was photographing him eating. “Why are you taking pictures of me eating pudding, Janie?” he asked, a bit annoyed:

Benjamin was concentrating on his coloring very intently, and barely noticed the camera in his face:

… Until I called his name, he looked up, and I got his, “What doin’, Janie?” look:

And then there’s Henry… who really needs no further introduction than these photos, which capture his sweet, good-natured personality:

… And those cheeks that simply beg to be squeezed:

People tell me that in years to come, I will find myself grateful and appreciative for this living-back-at-home era… for the extra time it allowed me to spend with my parents, for the pleasantly unexpected experiences that came along with it.

The truth is? I already am.

I always knew that I had a special relationship with my mom.

But it took me awhile longer to realize that not every daughter had a mother like mine.

I guess, when I was younger, I thought that all mothers were just like mine.

I thought that all mothers woke their daughters each morning with a loving kiss and a declaration that today would be a great day.

And that when their daughters would say, “Just let me sleep a few more minutes,” all mothers would gently tuck the covers back around their daughters and wish them sweet dreams during those extra minutes of sleep.

I thought that all mothers would stay up late with their daughters as they studied for a big test or finished a big term paper, checking in every once in awhile with snacks, cups of hot tea and encouraging words.

I thought that all mothers had the right words to say, at the right moments, whenever their daughters needed them. That all daughters saw their mothers as the first person to go to whenever they needed to be comforted.

I thought that all mothers and daughters laughed together and genuinely enjoyed each others’ company.

Because that is all I have ever known.

By the time I got to high school, and girls started to “hate” their mothers, it began to hit me that I had something with my mom that not many other people had.

My mom has always just been my best friend, even back in high school.

If I had a fight with a friend, or if I wasn’t invited to something that everyone else was invited to, or if a boy broke my heart, or if I needed to vent about a teacher or a coach, or if a friend put me in an awkward situation… she was always the first person I wanted to go to.

For her advice. For her words of wisdom. For her love.

She never tried to be that “cool mom” who wants to be best friends with her children because she’s trying to act like a teenager.

We never had fights, or didn’t talk to each other. I never told my mom I “hated” her.

My mom just is, and always has been, the first person I go to when I have news to share… good, bad, funny, interesting or otherwise. I genuinely enjoy my mother’s company, and her opinion and her approval mean so much to me.

When I have (human) children of my own someday, I will know I have had the best role model, who has taught me just what a mother should be.

And until then, I will continue trying to emulate the kind of woman she is.

I love you, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day!

Love,
Janie

Originally published Mother’s Day 2008… still feel the same way! I LOVE YOU, MOM!

If I’m walking like I just learned to walk (come to think of it, it’s not a matter of if at all), there’s a good reason for it. My legs took me on a 26.2 jaunt on Sunday from Providence, RI to my hometown of Barrington, RI - and back - for the Cox Providence Marathon, my first-ever marathon.

I have always wanted to run a marathon. I ran competitively in high school and was even recruited to run in college, but once I got there, I wasn’t into the commitment anymore. Before taking up running, I had swam competitively since age 5, so I think by that time I just need a break from competition.

I took quite a few years off from running before taking it up again in earnest about 3 years ago. I trained for a half marathon, which I ran on my 26th birthday, November 4, 2006:

It felt amazing to complete that race, and I was very happy with my time. I do remember saying after the race, “I don’t think I could run another 13 miles!” - and being reminded that it’s all about putting in the training time.

I knew that a full marathon would be something to aspire to, but after finishing the half marathon, and without a new immediate goal to train towards, my running once again fell by the wayside.

It wasn’t until last Fall that my sister-in-law, Nicole, who had just recently completed a half Ironman with my brother, suggested that we train for the Providence marathon, which at the time was about 7 months away. I had just started getting into running again, so it was perfect timing. Nicole researched some training schedules, gave me a training calendar to work off of, and the training started.

Along the way, I have had support from so many people.

As always, my parents. There has not been a day in my life when my mom and dad haven’t encouraged me and believed in me, no matter the endeavor.

Audrey, who ran with me early in my training - without her on some of those late fall/early winter days, I may have just stayed in and kept warm!

Nicole, who always inspires me and includes me in things, like this 10-mile training run back in January with some other running buddies (including J and M on the left, who were also in training for the marathon. I’m in the yellow jacket and Nicole is next to me in the sunglasses. It was COLD… you can see the snow and ice!):

And the list just goes on and on…. my other sister-in-law, Aimee, who trained for the half marathon on Sunday. Knowing she was training, too, was so encouraging. My brothers and Audrey’s husband, as well as other family and friends who were always checking in, asking how my training was going. And one of my favorite Spinning instructors, who emailed me a few weeks ago to say she knows it’s not easy to train for a marathon in the winter. Just knowing people were behind me was so motivating.

The last few weeks before the marathon seemed to fly by. When Sunday was finally here, I couldn’t believe it… all those long runs behind me… the mileage tracking… the icing… the stretching… getting acquainted with my foam roller…

I picked up my race number and T-shirt the day before:

And then marathon day was finally here:

The support that I had throughout my training? It just carried right on throughout the race itself. I had my own little cheering crew stationed along the route every 4-5 miles:

Mom and dad had driven the route the night before, so they had mapped out the places they’d be able to stop and cheer me on along the way - not to mention give me some water, Gatorade or an energy bar:

Nicole, who got injured about 8 weeks ago and was forced to stop training, was there for constant encouragement along the way:

The marathon route was pretty amazing for me. Since it took me to my hometown and back, I got to run many of the roads I used to run back in high school. It brought back so many memories.

I ran passed the hill I used to sled down in the winter… I ran down the street Audrey and I would take to get to our high school… I ran by the houses of old friends… I ran by the softball field where my dad used to coach me… I ran by the country club I used to go for friends’ birthday parties in the summer. I even ran passed one of my oldest friend’s new house, where she was playing outside with her family.

On the way back to Providence, after one of the water stations, I looked up and saw my Uncle Rick standing there, waiting for me to run by. It was so unexpected, and I just remember giving him the biggest smile and wave, so grateful for the love carrying me through those miles.

I had a few goals going in. The first one was to finish! The second one was to do it in under 4 hours. The third one, which honestly seemed a bit lofty, was to qualify for the Boston Marathon. To do so, I would have to run the race in under 3 hours and 40 minutes.

When I got to the half marathon mark and saw my time (1:51:36), I realized that I actually had a good chance of finishing in under 4 hours… and if I really moved during the second half of the race, I even had a chance of qualifying for Boston (yes, I actually took out my BlackBerry and took pictures of my times along the way!):

So from that moment on, I had that goal in mind: finish in under 3 hours and 40 minutes.

And I did! My official time was 3:37:10 - just made it! And now the plan is to train for the 2010 Boston Marathon.

I have a few races I’m looking to compete in over the summer and fall, including one triathlon, before that.

In the meantime, I’m taking a few days off to rest and regain the ability to walk normally again!

Yesterday, while I was out for a run, my mom found Ryder waiting at the living room window for me to return.

I just can’t even take the cuteness in these photos, knowing that Ryder was waiting patiently for Mommy to come home.

Later in the evening, while out on a walk with Ryder and Seth, I ran into some people in town who wanted to pet them. I stopped and chatted with them for a while, and as I walked away one of the women said, “These guys are your kids, aren’t they?”

I just smiled and nodded, happy that the love I have for them is so evident.

• My Friday night impromptu hair and make-up session by my fabulous friend Leah before going out on the town



• After getting pampered by Leah, having the best time with her and Yadira - two ladies who make me laugh and just make it fun to be silly
• Taking Ryder and Seth to the dog park Saturday morning and watching them have the best time
• Enjoying lunch on Saturday OUTSIDE (woohoo, finally!) at a restaurant on the water
• Going for an impromptu (there were a few impromptu moments this weekend, no?) mani/pedi with mom. The last time I had a manicure and pedicure was the day before Audrey got married - almost 8 YEARS (and 4 boys!) ago. I was due
• Dinner with my brother, niece and nephew Saturday evening at one of my favorite pizza places. Ate too much pizza, but it was GOOD
• Watching my friend Amy perform at a comedy show Saturday night
• Going for my final long run Sunday before this weekend’s marathon!