A morning in the life of a PANK

I have discussed before just how much credit I give to moms for doin’ yer thang.

I know some parents say, “People with no children just don’t get it.” But I do. Seriously.

Yes, I consider myself a mom to my two doggies. But I admit that both my dogs are pretty low maintenance. All they require is that I love them, feed them, take them on walks, play with them and make sure they’re groomed. Being their mom is all fun, all the time. There’s never any talking back, eye rolling, slamming doors or the always fun, “drop-me-off-a-mile-from-the-mall.”

As a proud PANK (Professional Auntie – No Kids, a term coined by my fabulous friend, Savvy Auntie) – not to mention the fact that our Mom Generations office(s) rotate between my house, my parents’ house and Audrey’s house – I live my Auntie role every single day. And sometimes the line between Auntiehood and Mommyhood is blurred.

Take this morning, for example, while we worked at Mom’s house. Audrey’s husband was at the gym working out, so our Mom Generations work was stalled for a bit as Audrey, Mom and I looked after Audrey’s 4 boys. Yes, there were three of us adults, but we were still outnumbered.

Audrey was upstairs multi-tasking: feeding her little guy, Henry, while trying to sort some of the products that have recently come in for review. And Mom was chasing around Audrey’s 15-month-old, Benjamin, who insisted on running outside on my parents’ back deck.

I was trying to get some work done myself, but there were PANK duties to tend to (which, of course, I never mind).

First I heard William calling me from the bathroom. “Janie!” (all of Audrey’s boys forget the “Auntie” part of my name), “I need help!” I had to abandon my laptop and go see what was up. William couldn’t reach the sink on his own. So I lifted him up to help him wash his hands, when I heard…

“Janie! Help!”

This time it was Alexander, calling me for help from the living room.

“Hang on, Alex!” I called, gently reminding William (whom I was still lifting up) to hurry it up and that he didn’t need that much soap. (And my gosh, at almost 4 years old, he is getting heavy.)

“I’m stuck!” Alex screamed. Oh, wonderful.

I put William down and told him I’d be right back. I ran into the living room to find almost-3-year-old Alex stuck in the Exersaucer.

“I can’t get out of Benja’s toy,” he told me. I lifted him out, gently reminding him that even Benjamin – his little brother – is too big for the Exersaucer now.

I went back into the bathroom to check on William, who was all set with the soap by then, but pointed out to me that there was pee on the toilet that had to get wiped up. And it was definitely my responsibility to fix that problem. (Then it was time to wash my hands.)

So then it was back to my laptop – for about 8 seconds. Audrey had come back downstairs and needed me to hold Henry for a minute. As I was cradling my little nephew, Alexander came over to me insisting that I take his hand so he could show me something. He led me back into the living room, where he again insisted that I put Henry in the baby swing. “Swing Henry!” he exclaimed.

Henry was so, so cozy in my arms, so I explained to Alex that it was just wasn’t a good time. I thought he understood. But then as I left the room, Alex continued to instruct me to, “Swing Henry! Swing Henry!” He wouldn’t give up. So I had to get his mind on something else. What always works for Alex? Food.

“How about a granola bar?” I asked him. That did the trick – but had a snowball effect.

William chimed in: “I’m hungry, too.”

“OK, I’ll get you a granola bar, too, honey,” I told him. But it’s never that easy, is it?

“I don’t want a granola bar. I want Frosted Flakes,” he said. So I dutifully got Alex his granola bar and William his Frosted Flakes. I set them up on their little tables and chairs and headed back to my laptop. But not for long.

“Janie, there’s too much milk in my cereal!” So I went back in the living room, expecting to just have to get William a new bowl of cereal (I’m an Auntie, after all, and a bit of a pushover at that), but instead I was also greeted by itty bitty pieces of granola bar all over my parents’ Oriental rug.

“Alex, what did you do to your granola bar!?”

Without batting an eye, Alex told me, “It’s sticky, Janie.” And by that, he apparently meant that it was sticking to his fingers, and therefore he had to take it all apart to eat it. Except that practically none not all of the pieces went into his mouth.

As I was on my hands and knees picking the sticky granola bar pieces off the floor (again, I’m a bit of a pushover PANK), Audrey and Mom finally came back from their duties elsewhere, and were able to help me out with kid duty.

Phew!

All I can say is, next time the line between Auntiehood and Mommyhood is going to be blurred, I will prepare my laptop for my absence.

SHOWHIDE Comments (15)
  1. This made me laugh out loud! Today was a CRAZY day! You are such an amazing Auntie! The boys just love you so much… and you always are SO GOOD with them! As if they were your very own…
    Love,
    Audge

  2. Oh, Janie! Don’t you just LOVE it? But you forgot the part when Benjamin tried to get you into the library to play “Diego” on the computer while as he taught himself how to open my antique doors! That’s what happens when you are a mommy or mommy substitute… the moments just roll into each other and some just seem to roll away. That is why women keep doing this thing over and over… memory lapse! You are the best auntie ever. I love you.
    Mom

  3. You’ve definitely got your hands full 🙂 You are such an awesome auntie!!! I can just see how much Audrey’s boys love you and you them!

  4. jane you get it! love how you documented the day…..it is crazy isn’t it? constantly watching out for kyle crawling into and under while kenzie is needing some form of attention. and it never fails that as soon as i start to feed kyle- kenzie is screaming she needs to go on the potty! if only i was an octopus…. and i only have 2 !

  5. You hit the nail on the head with this one! Having multiple kids is a juggling act! You did a great job!!! I love th PANK name! Fun!

  6. Auntie Janie!! You ARE a super Savvy Auntie!! I laughed out loud !! You’re amazing!!

    All you other PANKs and Savvy Aunties out there- come sign up for the Beta form of SavvyAuntie.com, launching very soon. And seemingly, starring Auntie Janie!!

    Thanks, Jane!

  7. I am a firm believer that it really takes a village…
    Those boys are extremly lucky to have your in their lives. You are a wonderful Aunt/Mommy Substitute.

  8. Hey PANK, check this out! I haven’t been up with blogging lately and come around and find THIS?! I love love love it! What a find looking site you have here, I’m off to find a link for my blog…ooh and one for the digi too, I’ll do ’em both up.

    And thank you, you know. For the super sweet lift you gave me when I was needing it. xo

  9. All I can say is thank the Lawd for you Panks!!!!! Don’t know how we’d survive without you….and that pic of those two smiley munchkins is ADORABLE! Hope you had a great 4th!